midnight word vomit

『 Venus 』

|| Wherein sometimes having the whole world inside you
can be nice and sad.

Sometimes I wonder what happens in your mind, how a vast mindscape of amazing things fit in that head of yours. The fact that stars live in your cheeks, the sun shines in your smile, and the moon brightens when words escape your mouth, an entire macrocosm lives within you.

It must be hard to take possession of something so powerful. To control the world by being yourself.

In summer the sunflowers are at full bloom, the small floating feathers of white dandelions dance along with the april breeze. The white sand was warm but the sea reached our toes enough to let us forget about the blazing heat above us. It's amazing how a small curve of your lips can make flowers bloom and how your laugh makes it seem like hurricanes never existed, how everything that's been said and everything that's already been discovered long ago still remained beautiful to you even if you already knew about it, how anything so dull and obvious you make into something new.

At autumn sometimes it's scary when you get lost in your thoughts. The gloomy skies rule over it all as you stare outside. Slowly dark clouds creep over and cover the light blue canopy covering the stars, tears start to pour outside and down your cheeks. I hated the october's tv programs, but it also meant you hiding in my arms. When I look down at you, peaceful, I always remind myself of how lucky I am to have the entire map of stars right here, and how lucky I am that even someone as ethereal as you were able to love someone like me.

"I didn't ask to be made"

That sentence keeps echoing in my mind, maybe forevermore. It must be so wonderful to see the joys of this world in perspectives people will never get to see, but the painful universal fact eats you up inside of how joy can't cover all areas of existence, seeing suffering in perspectives people were lucky they will never get to see. When I see it pound down on your shoulders, sometimes I'm scared to hold you. I'm clumsy, I can't afford to hold pieces already loosely threaded together, but I can be the one to tighten you back together again.

I may not be as amazing as you, but getting the chance to even be close around you is already something I can't take for granted even if I tried. I'll love you back as much as you love me so you can see how in a world like this, even when things aren't like what you want them to be, as long as I'm here I'll always make it bearable for you.