midnight word vomit

『 hey lover 』

|| this is from a discontinued short story I made from awhile ago. for context: bestfriends in love with each other, years of pining ensue, and after mingi kisses yunho...they're at the endgame now. 

(alternatively: mingi kissed yunho thinking he was asleep, but he wasn't, so mingi gay panics for a month.)

"You said there were others here with us.." the orange-haired boy said, looking around the empty apartment. Yunho felt bad for lying, he really did, he always did and more especially when it came to Mingi. Yet what else can he do? Yunho couldn't think of any other way to lure him in and save himself enough time to be alone with him without him running away from Yunho. Apparently, inviting him to a fake get together did the trick nicely. Now he was there, standing stoically, less carefree and more alert, like a cat curving up and letting it's claws out as a sign of warning. Don't touch me.

A wave of silence washed over them, Yunho couldn't feel anything from it. It was just an unmoving silence existing between them, begging to be sliced apart by anything; a voice, a plead, a sigh, anything.

"You didn't have to lie to me you know," Mingi says. He stood still with his elbow on the kitchen island, looking down at his feet to avoid Yunho's piercing gaze. It didn't sound like he was disappointed, he sounded more firm, as if he was doing everything it took not to let his resolve crumble down into a million pieces.

"I know you've been avoiding me these past few days Mingi, you can't fool me," He continued staring, analyzing every single movement the man made before him. He knew he shouldn't but he's scared too, he's scared he's reading this all wrong. Maybe Mingi had started avoiding him because he felt as if their friendship wasn't worth maintaining all these years anymore, or maybe because he got found out that all these years of friendship was just days upon days of endless yearning to be something more.

Yunho was scared, he was so so scared, but he wasn't going to potentially letting Mingi go without getting an explaination. His heart shifted, doing something akin to jumping down an endless void not knowing where you would end up. He was ready to get hurt, he wanted to get it over with already and said, "Why? Please tell me why,"

Mingi just stares at him, and Yunho musters up more words before he runs away again, "I couldn't get you out of my head for days Min, you don't understand how much it scares me, how much I've gone over everything I've done trying to find something I did wrong. You're a huge part of myself that I can't afford losing, so please.. tell me.."

"You-"

Yunho looks up to meet with his dark brown eyes. The man's expression leaned less on firm and more of apprehension, trying to figure out what he should say next.

"You.. shouldn't say things people would misunderstand,"

"I mean it how it is, you know I do."

This made Mingi's cheeks burn slightly red, and his eyes widen. Yunho took this as an opportunity, "I know maybe you're not ready to share the things you have in that big brain of yours, but can I share mine?"

Yunho didn't notice his hands already holding the wrists of both of Mingi's arms, as if he was holding onto him as a reassurance he wouldn't run away from him like how he was to Yunho for almost a month now. He squeezed them tight enough that the heat of his hands seeped through the sleeves of his shirt. Mingi hums, and Yunho gives him a small smile.

"I have this person right? He's very important to me, fuck he's always been important to me," he starts, and it was Mingi's turn to weigh him down with his gaze while Yunho tells about this mysterious important person.

"He's just.. the best. He's a mix of everything I could ever want in a person. He's loud but he listens well, he so good at speaking and giving the things I need to hear, and it might be foolish but all of his metaphors are so beautiful to me, even if I know that it barely matters that I see it that way." Mingi feels like the air in his lungs were all forcefully pushed out. His chest squeezes, he wanted to run away, to make Yunho stop talking about this person, but he kept listening anyways. He wanted his words, this mysterious person, to end this neverending game of hide and seek he'd endured for so long.

"There's this one metaphor he told me, that if he were to fall in love with someone, they would be a planet and he wanted to be the brightest star in their orbit. He wanted to show how much he needed them to exist," Yunho smiled at the memory as his eyes turned glossy.

Fuck.

Mingi felt his heartbeat crawling up his throat. The blood pumping fast in his veins made him feel drowsy and delirious. He was dreaming, he know he is. This whole thing, it was impossible.

"He had the habit of asking for so much of me, and I would always give in. I never found it in me to refuse anything he would want. It's almost as if i could give him the moon, and it would barely matter to me." Then Yunho small smile breaks into a frown, his grip loosening and Mingi swears his heart drops at the sight.

"But then he started ignoring me, finding ways around our time together to avoid me, and it went on for a month, when all I wanted to do is just talk to him because-" He looked at Mingi straight in the eyes then, lacing his words with conviction because he didn't want Mingi to think anything he would say after was serious.

"Because even when he kissed me when he thought I wouldn't know, it didn't disgust me at all."

It was Mingi's turn for his eyes to turn glossy. His vision distorted and the tears blurred his vision. He couldn't find the strength to do anything, his brain was just a mess of feelings and thoughts, and all he could feel was the familiar warmth of Yunho's hands on his damp cheeks.

"He did the one thing I've wanted to do for years, and he did it so fast that it left me craving for so long," The tears slow down now, and his vision cleared up to look at Yunho one last time before he splits his life into then and now, to etch on the image of Yunho looking at him so much fondness that it makes his heart feel so full.

The impenetrable wall between them existing through gritty bricks of years of confusion, denial, and fear, came crashing down before their very eyes. Mingi finally wills himself to do something and rests his forehead on Yunho's, the distance so close yet so far.

"How much longer does it have to take for you to finally give in to me, Song Mingi?" He asks.

The kiss they share didn't feel like fireworks nor did it feel like home, it was something more. It felt like fulfilling the will of the universe that it built upon the foundation of serendipity. It was otherworldly, and truthfully so. Like stars spinning on the pulls of each other's gravity, it caves into the creation of something huge, warm, and beautiful.