BANGTAN ONE SHOTS STORIES

HOSEOK

Hoseok

It was my 5th bottle of Soju. I was getting dizzier as seconds went by, but I did not dare to stop taking shots after shots. The burning feeling in my throat from all the drinking at the moment and the possible throbbing of my head the next morning were all pushed to the back of my mind. The only thing that I kept thinking of for the past hours, no. The past 2 years, was her. And of course, my stupidity. It was the 13th of June today. The exact same day 10 years ago, when I heard her say yes to me. Today should have been our 10th year anniversary.

Should have been.

I chuckled bitterly as the voice in my head whispered those words.

"Hey hyung, why'd you call me?" I heard Jimin spoke from behind me, patting my shoulder.

"Jimin. My brother Jimin. How are you my bro?" I slurred, smiling drunkenly.

"Yah hyung what time did you get here? You seem drunk already." Jimin asked, his voice sounding concern. But he should not be concern of me. He should not comfort me because I don't deserve it. I don't deserve the love I failed to keep.

"If this is about y/n, please hyung stop punishing yourself." He murmurred, and I shook my head no.

"Do you know how much she loves me Chim? Do you know how much she's willing to sacrifice everything for me? Do you know how much she's willing to show the world how much I meant in her life? No. But I do. I know all that. Because I was once the luckiest man on earth. But of course I had to be stupid and selfish and a good for nothing bastard." I stopped for a second to take another shot. Jimin was staring at me with a pained expression.

"I broke her. I broke her and the worst part of it all is that, I only realized how important she is in my life when she's already walking out the door." I heard my voice cracked on the last part. Jimin could only look at me with symphaty. He knows I'm breaking right now, but he doesn't know how much. Only I, could understand what I'm feeling right now.

"Hyung. I know. We both know you fucked up. Big time. We've known y/n for years now. We have witnessed her love for you, and all that. But you can't blame yourself forever for something you can no longer do anything about. It's been 2 years hyung. Things had changed already. She has her own life now. And as much as I hate to say this, she seems happy with how life had turned out for her. Maybe it's time for you to do the same?" It turned out to be a question, and if it was another situation I would have laughed because who would have thought that the notorious playboy of BTS, Park Jimin would look nervous. But of course it had to be the moment of my misery, and laughing would be the last thing that will come to my mind right now.

"I just, she- she's my life chim. My world. My love. My everything. And I hate that I had to be the one to break and ruin everything that we had." I was a weeping mess. And  it's fucking crazy because I've been doing this night-out-crying session for the past 2 years now, but my tears were like a fucking dam that seems to never lose its water.

"Hyung stop. It's done." Jimin said in a pained voice. "You can't be like this forever, I hate to say this but you are letting our fans down because of this." I almost say I no longer care but an angel's voice kind of stopped me. Kind of.

"Hoseok?" I did not move a muscle because I feel like if I turn, I'll just be disappointed. And I'm so tired of being disappointed. I mean, who am I kidding right? But I heard it again.

"Hoseok?" I heard her  voice yet again. But again, I didn't move. Why would I? I hear it every second of everyday. It's all in my mind. Her voice, the sound of her laugh. The way she sings to help me sleep.