Paint Me Love

Four

"What are you smiling at?" Martin asks suddenly, his voice teasing.

I'm sitting on the floor in the living room on my phone, texting Brooke, and I duck my head in embarrassment, still smiling. "Nothing."

"Come on, you never smile like that," he says with a laugh.

"Nothing," I repeat, turning my phone off and shoving it in my pocket

"Is it a girl?" he teases. My blush darkens into a deep rose color and he laughs harder. "Bring her over sometime," he says. "If she can make you smile like that, I want to meet her."

"Maybe I will," I say over my shoulder as I start up to my room.

But I don't. I'm too nervous. Plus, I'm going to visit Mom tomorrow for her birthday. I don't want to deal with the stress of asking her to come over and going to the hospital.

Asking her to come over? That sounds like I'm asking her on a date. Which I'm not. I wouldn't mind going on a date with her. Not because I like her or anything. I mean, yeah, I like her. But not like that.

Why do I always embarrass myself like this?

"I have good news and bad news," Martin says during dinner, staring at his plate. 

I glance at him and take a bite of beans, answering through a mouthful. "What's the good news?"

"The good news is I think I got a new job. I had an interview a few days ago and I think the guy really liked me."

"That's good." I hesitate, not really sure if I want the bad news. "And ... the other news?"

He sighs softly. "You can't see your mother tomorrow night."

My heart nearly stops. "What? Why not?" My voice drops to a whisper. "Is she ..."

"She's doing okay," he reassures. He gives me a little smile, but I can see the worry in his eyes. "They're doing emergency surgery. They say it will get rid of the tumors and the disease. She'll be recovering next time you see her, almost perfectly healthy."

"Oh." I try to calm my heart down a little, but it won't. "That's good then."

"Yeah. That's good." We share another worried smile, but don't talk again for the rest of dinner. 

I guess that means I have time to finish my homework. I don't have an excuse for missing assignments now. I get to work, and actually feel really productive when I get most of my English and History assignments done before midnight.

I should be excited. Mom's going to be out of the hospital in no time. But I'm still nervous. I can't sleep that night. 

To attempt to distract myself, I invite Brooke to go to the park with me after school. I try to clarify that it isn't a date, but I think she doesn't get it. At least she doesn't mind. She brings her notebook and I bring my sketchbook. We walk along the sidewalk by the creek and talk for a long time, and then stop at a picnic table and talk some more. I guess she can talk and write at the same time. I don't draw anything. 

I like being around her because it distracts me from my worry. It actually works, for a while. I hang out with her as often as possible. She makes me happy in the best of ways. My heart flutters whenever I'm around her. I blush a lot and laugh at everything. She's awkward, but she's funny and really sarcastic. 

I get a text on Friday. 

hey my family's watching a movie tonight wanna come over

what movie? I answer, glancing at my backpack, where my two projects are sitting. I can do them later.