Those You've Known

chapter one

When the audience stands to give Robbie and me our first standing ovations, a surreal feeling takes over my body. The sentiment begins in my head and makes its way to my feet, leaving me with an unfamiliar, but exciting, floating sensation.

Robbie and I move backward and the remainder of the cast joins us in a straight line for our final bows. Simon takes his place next to me and I flash him a quick, giddy smile. He smiles back, although his seems preoccupied and slightly forced.

I could stay in front of this crowd for years, if I had to do so. My surroundings haven't completely registered in my mind yet, but I know this stage is where I'm meant to be. Like I've said to my mom, I'm finally apart of something I believe in. I close my eyes a second, solely to appreciate the sound of the audience.

And to think, tonight was only the first performance. I get to perform this captivating show again. I open my eyes once again, just in time to catch a last glimpse of our adoring opening night crowd. The curtains close, as if they are a metaphor for snapping back to reality. Now, I have to finish explaining to Robbie that I'm going to be leaving and make sure he's okay, although he's clearly not. Why did I have to be so stupid? Why did I tell him seconds before our last song together? I don't think I could have picked worse timing. When I looked into his eyes, I could see the hurt and sadness within them.

Once everyone is sure that the audience can no longer see us, we make our way backstage. Gordy is waiting for Gwen by her costumes and Simon and Jeremy are pensively talking by a set of doors. I make a mental note to talk to Simon, but now doesn't seem like the best time. Sasha and Michael break away from the rest of the troupe and step outside. I can't tell for sure, but it looks like they may be getting ready to leave.

Finally, I turn my attention back to Robbie. As if we can read each other's minds, he is by my side as soon as I turn around to walk to him, "You were amazing tonight," I breathe, starting to take a countless amount of pins out of my hair.

He runs his hand through his hair, "Thanks. You were perfect," he smiles, but it doesn't look like his normal smile. It seems distracted, as if his mind is anywhere except for here, resembling Simon's.

I sigh, realizing that I need to ask the one question I've been avoiding for so long, "Okay, you haven't been yourself all night. What's wrong?"

"Are you talking about what happened during the graveyard scene? If so, I don't know what came over me."

He knows what happened, but won't tell me. For a moment, I look into his eyes and try to read his emotions. Robbie is on the verge of tears, once again. It pains me that he doesn't feel the need to tell me what's wrong. We usually have good communication with one another, so I don't understand why this situation is any different. I could help him, but only if I know what's troubling him.

"Please tell me. I could try to help you." I say, my voice barely above a whisper. I step closer to him and place my hand on his chest.

As if right on some imaginary cue, he breaks down. Tears softly fall down his face for the fourth time this week, "Did you see my mom out there tonight?" he rhetorically asks, looking down at his trembling feet. Of course I saw his mother out in the audience.

"Yeah, I saw her. How could I not?" Tonight was the first time I've ever seen her out of her hospital bed. Judging by the look on Robbie's face, he is preparing himself for tonight to be the last time. He told me that she wasn't doing well, but I didn't except to see her here at opening night, especially not on palliative care.

Robbie and I turn so that we are both leaning back on my makeshift vanity where I got my hair and makeup done. The way he slouches makes me realize he feels like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. I take the sleeve of my flowery, blue dress and wipe the few remaining tears from his face. Just as I bring my hand back down to my side, Michael comes back into the school.

"Sorry to bother you two, but Mr. Mazzu needs to talk to us out on the stage," he says, his hands in his pockets. He seems to be in a pensive mood, as if he already knows what Mr. Mazzu is going to announce. We all do. He's been fired for changing the show back to the original version.

Robbie sighs and runs his hand through his curly brown hair, "What now?" he whispers, just loud enough for me to hear.

The mood on the stage is tense, with Mr. Mazzuchelli and Ms. Wolfe looking around at all of us, longingly. If I'm being honest, the looks on their faces are worrying me, since they have held this production together from the beginning. Mr. Mazzu takes a deep breath before placing a hand on Ms. Wolfe's shoulder, "Do you all remember when I told you that the last thing I wanted to teach you was to not cave?" He begins. Ms. Wolfe, frozen next to him, takes a quick glance across the stage. His voice slowly begins to waver as he continues, "I was not fired tonight, but I received a punishment that is far worse."

A collective murmur arises among us, only to be silenced by Sadie running across the stage into Mr. Mazzu's arms. Kaitlin and Gail follow behind her. Gordy takes one look at his family and his face turns a ghostly pale. I've never seen him demonstrate such emotion. "Please, no," Gordy sprints off of the stage and we see him emerge from the lighting booth less than a minute later. My mind is scattered and focusing on one event is nearly impossible. What punishment is Mr. Mazzu talking about? Why are Kaitlin and Sadie crying? Why is Gordy panicking?

"Dad, he's gone," Gordy's voice echoes through the theater walls and sends the stage into a frenzy. There's only one person he could be worried about: Maashous. I don't know much about his past, but I do know that he has been staying with the Mazzuchelli's for a while. I also know that he's a foster kid who has been uprooted from more homes and families than I could ever imagine. A multitude of possible scenarios regarding his whereabouts flash through my head, none of which are good. If there was a chance that his sudden disappearance was a good thing, then nobody would be so worried.

"Why tonight? Of all nights, why tonight? Tracey, finish talking to the kids." Like the flip of a switch, the theater is silent again, aside from Mr. Mazzu storming off of the stage and the sound of his daughters' sobs. Ms. Wolfe recomposes herself and turns her attention back to us, "What Mr. Mazzu wanted to say is that changing the show, although it proved to be a crowd pleaser, lead to a major problem for the superintendent and his PTA. They have turned their backs on him for letting our show go on. His only choice, besides firing Mr. Mazzu, was to shut down Stanton drama. So, that is what he did. Tonight was our final performance..." her voice cracks, "ever."

Now, it's my turn to cry. I'm not the only one, most everyone is either crying or at least tearing up. "Is this some freakish nightmare?" Simon yells, leaving the theater. Jeremy follows him outside, trailed soon by Michael, Robbie, and Francis.
Gwen's tears are silent as they roll down her face. She is the first that Ms. Wolfe attempts to comfort, which doesn't surprise me. She comes to me once Gwen is partially calmed down. Wrapping me in a loving hug, Ms. Wolfe whispers in my ear, "I'm so sorry, Lilette."

"Is this my fault because I played Wendla?" I reply, asking a question that I need to have answered before I can even begin to consider calming down.

Instantly, Ms. Wolfe answers me, "Sweetheart, none of this is your fault. Nobody in the troupe is to blame for any of this. At the least, its my fault." She pulls away from the hug and looks me in the eye, "Do you understand me?"

I give a slight nod before speaking again, "Now, I have one less reason to stay in Stanton. My mom will be ecstatic to hear about this," I pick up my bags and exit the school, searching for the rest of the troupe, or a ride home. I don't want to see this school right now.

Philadelphia suddenly doesn't seem so bad.