Elite || Marhinki

•Chapter Seventeen: Coming Out•

Dinner went by in a breeze. At free time, I decided to go to my room. I needed some time alone. Thankfully, my friends understood, and just let me go.

Once I got to my room I practically collapsed onto my bed. Relief washed over me. It was finally over. I felt like I could breathe again.

It was far too early to go to sleep, so I turned on the hologram machine and selected a random show that I paid absolutely no attention too as my mind wandered. What was Governing going to be like? They hadn't taught us anything back home about how court worked besides the absolute basics. What had I just signed myself up for?

I turned off the show and laid back against my bedrest. Maybe pushing my anxiety away wasn't the best move. Perhaps I should confront it.

But not here. Suddenly, my room felt suffocating. I needed fresh air.

I grabbed my bedsheets and started tearing them apart, making a makeshift rope. It was hard to get one of the heavy paintings down by myself, but I managed and ripped the hanger off the wall. After what couldn't have been more than twenty minutes, the rope in my hands was practically identical to the one in David's room.

Next came the window pane. I had to lean a chair against the wall to get it out and lay it on the floor next to me. Grabbing the rope, I threaded it out of the hole and started throwing it up. Unfortunately, it took me far more than one try this time to get it to stick.

Eventually, it did. I let out a sigh of relief and pulled, making sure it was stable. Thankfully, it was, and I started to climb. It didn't take me very long to reach the top.

The hard concrete of the roof grated against my back as I lay down, but I didn't care. For a few minutes I just stayed there, breathing in the crisp air and letting the cold wind rustle my hair and clothes. The sun had just started to set, painting the sky a bleached orange. 

Then I got down to thinking.

I was going to be a lord. Letting that sink in was hard. The thought seemed unnatural. But it was the truth. Soon, I was going to be on par with a Diamond. I was going to be powerful.

That thought was terrifying. Power. It was something I'd never had growing up, something I'd never dreamed of having. Sure, I didn't know how much I was going to get, but still. It was power, and it was power I was going to have, power I could use. Anyone else would be ecstatic. So why wasn't I?

Maybe Mari was right. Maybe I was making too big of a deal out of this, and that was what was holding me back. Or maybe I was terrified of letting people down. Who knows.

Whatever it was, I was going to have to accept it. The terror might be a good thing. It might help me in the future, when I had to make big decisions. It might hold me back from making brash ones. I was never going to shake this terror; that was obvious. But if I could use it to my advantage... perhaps I could do something great.

"Hey."

I almost fell off the roof.

Once I regained control of my wites, I spun to face the person who had spoken. It was David, who looked like he was going to collapse from laughter.

"Screw you," I muttered, brushing myself off.

It took him a few more seconds to stop laughing. "Didn't mean to scare you, bud. Thought you would've heard me coming."