Letters to Rebecca

The Third Letter

Dear Rebecca,

It's my fault. I know it's my fault. Everyone says I did everything I could but there is more to the story. You know the part where I asked for her address and called the police but you don't know anything. Most people didn't care because it was the second time but you should have seen her eyes when she tried to convince me she was fine. It was a lie. She was broken. She told me about the pills. She told me they weren't on her. I didn't believe that. I knew they were in her book bag. I went to her book bag and she tackled me in the cafeteria. We actually fought. You were there but you didn't understand why we were fighting until the next day. You see I knew about the pills. I tried to get them from her. She wouldn't let me. I need you to know that she wouldn't let me. She told me that she would give them to e on Monday. I shouldn't have trusted her. I should have persisted but the bell rang and I would have been late for class. I don't know why I left but I did. I left her and she was called to the disciplinary office. I didn't understand when she called me and I was at work. I told her to call me after work. Instead I called her. She told me she was going to kill herself. I begged her. She hung up on me. I texted everyone trying to get her mom's number or someone that knew where she lived. Our friend said he would call her and not to worry that she did this all the time. The next morning I texted her seven times. I called her twelve. She wouldn't answer but you did. You told me where she lived. I emailed the disciplinarian and the counselor but neither of them answered. She finally called back but I was on my way to a robotics meeting so that we could start a nonprofit organization. I answered and after hearing her talk about the pills I called the cops. I kept texting her I wanted her to keep talking to me. I held my phone in my hands during the robotics meeting when I got a string of texts. "CALL THE COPS!" "SHE SWALLOWED 100 PILLS" "PLEASE CALL THE COPS NOW!!!" So, I rushed out the doors and called the cops and while I was on the phone I broke down. I couldn't imagine my life without her. She was one of my closest friends. The president of my team came out to comfort me but my voice was shaking. My coach came out and found her family contact in the school system and had me call each person in the contact. He then asked if I would be okay with telling the group what was going on. I told him I didn't know and he said that I should and that I should stay there and be around people who were there for me. When we entered the room he announced what was going on. I couldn't pay attention in the meeting when her mom called me. I had to explain that her daughter had left the house to swallow 100 sleeping pills. I didn't know how to say it. She asked me if I knew where she was but I didn't. An hour later I got another call but this time it was her. She said she was cold and didn't know where she was. Her phone was dying and she was tired. She told me goodbye as I pleaded with her and all I could remember was how I didn't take the pills the day before. How she could die because of me. Because I didn't do anything. Her mom called me every hour until 5pm. She was missing for 11 ours when her mom called me again to tell me she was in the hospital and was hopefully going to be okay. However all I know is that I couldn't help her. I didn't take the pills and I couldn't convince her out of it. I couldn't do anything so it was my fault wasn't it? Don't you think so? Would you still be friends with me if you knew in the beginning?

Love,
Someone who is your friend again