Thought #1: Okay

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Chapter 1

I have everything...yet I have nothing.

No one will know. Cause I never say it out loud. And I don't want them to know.

Nag-uumapaw ang sigawan ng mga kababaihan sa bleachers habang nagpapractice ang mga basketball players. Kulang na lang ay dumugo ang tenga ko sa sobrang lakas.

Practice pa lang ganito na sila makasigaw. At di pa puno ang gym, paano na lang kaya kung actual game na? I sighed. They're charismas are worse than what I thought. Walang kupas.

I was sitting on a bench in the court as I watch Cleeve positioned on a three-point shot. Mas lalo lang lumakas ang tili nila at hindi ko rin napigilang mapangiti sa kanya.

That's my boyfriend...

"That's enough for today. Take your break," ani coach sa kanila. There are atleast 13 of them.

Nagsipuntahan na sila sa mga dala nilang gym bag at kumuha ng pamunas. Samantalang si Cleeve ay papalapit sakin. Syempre ako ang personal alalay niya ngayon. Girlfriend duty...

I grabbed a towel and throw it on his face. Natawa ako nang masapol ko nga ang mukha niya.

"Hey..." He sat next to me. And I can already sense the stares of everybody. "Bored ka na ba?"

Umiling ako. "Hindi naman..."

He gave me a boyish smile habang pinupunasan niya ang kanyang batok. Napatingin ako sa paligid. Seems like they can't take their eyes off Cleeve. Sino ba naman kasi ang hindi mapapatingin sa kanya?

With that perfect shape of his face, cute eyes, chiseled nose, and puffy lips. Not to mention the bulk of his muscles showing up on his arms and chest. Mga bulag lang ang hindi mapapatingin.

"Wanna go somewhere later?" Napatingin ako sa kanya dahil sa sinabi. Ano na namang plano nito? Hindi ko tuloy napigilang taasan siya ng kilay.

"What's with that look?" Kaagad niyang itinaas ang dalawang kamay. "I'm not planning something silly if that's what you think." He chuckled.

"Okay, so ano?"

He shrugged. "Hang out somewhere far away from civilization. Just the two of us. Alone."

Naningkit ang mata ko. This guy is really up to something. How can I not conclude that? I've known him eversince.

"What's on that dirty little mind of yours?" He smirked at me. There goes his childish side again...

Tinapos niya ang pagpunas sa sarili at isinandal ang kanyang ulo sa aking balikat. Nakarinig na lang ako ng mga buntong-hininga sa paligid.

Iba talaga ang epekto ng lalakeng 'to sa paligid. Hindi ko alam kung ba't di ako masanay-sanay.

"Let's go somewhere." And I can sense on his voice that he's already pouting. This guy!

"Fine! Where?"

"Yes!" He raised up both his arms in the air. I just shook my head. "Tara..."

He stood up and grabbed his things. Tumayo na rin ako habang inaalalayan niya. He drove me off somewhere familiar. Somewhere na kaming dalawa lang yung nakakaalam.

"Wow."

Kahit ilang beses na kaming nakapunta na rito ay namamangha pa rin ako. The view is just spectacular. Nasa cliff kami with a tree at the left side. From there, we can see the whole view of rainforests and a river on the middle. And air is just so fresh and so different from the city.

"Ang ganda talaga dito," sabi ko.

"That's why this is our place." Then he smiled.

I stared at his face a little longer. This is so perfect. Sa sobrang perpekto natatakot ako na baka bawiin din sakin ito. Im too happy about all of this.

Nagkulitan kami. Our vibes just clicked. Probably why we fell inlove for each other. Nagsimula kami sa pagiging magkaibigan hanggang sa umamin siya na may gusto siya sakin. And while he was courting, I couldn't help myself but love him too.

"He was eating and then he suddenly choke when Rianne said that he likes him." He laughed after.

"What? No way! Paano nagreact si Adrian?"

"He didn't say anything. He just choked the whole minute that they were talking. Kailangan namin siyang dalhin sa clinic."

"So hindi na sila nakapagusap after?"

Tumango siya. "Adrian is a chicken. Si Rianne na mismo ang umamin sa kanya. The least he can do is to confess too."

"Bakit ba ayaw umamin ni Adrian? He's so obvious when she's around. Halos lahat alam na may something sa kanila."

"Well, you know Rianne's brother. Ayaw niya munang magkaboyfriend ang kapatid niya. Adrian understood that," he explained.

"That's not fair. What about what Rianne thinks?"

"Problema na ni Adrian yan. But I doubt that he'll ever confessed. With basketball as his top priority for now." Inayos niya ang pagkakahiga saka inilagay ang dalawang kamay sa likod ng ulo.

"What about you? Top priority mo rin naman ang basketball pero niligawan mo ako."

Tinititigan niya akong mabuti bago nagsalita. "That was before. You're my top priority now."

Di ko maiwasang kiligin. Dapat hindi na ako kinikilig. Im not a teen anymore. But he seems so new everyday. Ilang beses niyang pinaramdam sakin na hindi ako basta basta. He's so unreal sometimes.

"You okay, baby?" His tone was teasing. Oh, he knows I love every bit of what he said.

Hinampas ko siya sa dibdib dahilan oara bumangon siya sa pagkahiga. "Tumigil ka nga!"

"Aray naman baby! That hurt." He chuckled.

"Ikaw kahit kailan mapang-asar. Kapag ikaw ang tinutukso ng barkada ang pikunin mo."

Wala siyang sinabi at tuluyan akong nilalambing. Nang medyo gumabi na ay saka namin napagdesisyunang umuwi na. Sa mga panahong kasama ko siya, nalilimutan ko talaga ng lahat. Some may call it blind, but we call it love.

Ganito yata talaga kapag umiibig...

Sabay kaming bumaba ng sasakyan saka tinitigan ang malaking bahay na nasa harap namin. The starry background made it more pleasing to the eyes. The architect and engineer really did good on their job.

"Someday..."

Napatingin ako sa kanya. Nagnakaw siya ng sulyap sa akin saka pinanatili ang tingin sa aming bahay. Niyakap ko ang kanyang braso.

Someday, we will be accepted, baby. And can't wait to tell everyone about it.

Thoughts of a SuicideTahanan ng mga kuwento. Tumuklas ngayon