Mend Me? ➸ hemmings a.u

1. In Love With The Devil

"Michael?" I called lazily from my uncomfortable and squeaky, pathetic excuse for a bed. "Yeah?" He replied, with as just as much enthusiasm as I. "I'm just going to say it," I bit my lip. He dropped his pen and spun around on my computer chair to face me. "What has the fantastic Ava got to say that's so significant in this universe of infinite universes that I feel so obliged to cease this pointless Maths homework and listen?" He asked with that same nonchalant voice.

"Your friend is sexy," I said simply and he huffed. "Who of my oh so personality-wise boring as hell friends is lucky enough to have your eye?" He asked and I blushed. "Luke," I mumbled and he almost fell off my chair. He stared at me with a great smile of disbelief and amusement. "You mean Lucas Robert Hemmings? Are we thinking of the same guy?" He asked in amusement. I sat up and glared at him. Why is that so hard to believe? "Yes, Lucas Robert Hemmings," I muttered. Michael was laughing so hard he fell back against the chair, his head facing the ceiling and his eyes squeezed shut. Seriously, Michael.

He sighed and composed himself. "Okay, I'm composed," I rolled my eyes. "Why Luke? He's the most awkward human being," he said it as if he were talking about a puppy with a missing leg. I raised my eyebrows and coughed. "Imaginary sign of a huge hand pointing down to me from the ceiling blinking rapidly," I said quickly and he looked above my head. "Oh yeah, didn't notice that. But you don't count as a human being Ava, you see."

He spun and dragged his chair to me using those weird body thrusts so he could be sitting directly in front of me on my bed. I crossed my legs and rested my face in my hands. "Human beings don't eat noodles on toast," he began and I scoffed. "You said that was delicious!" I pointed at him in accusation. "I was being nice, Ava. It was freaking weird." He shook his head and I slumped. He likes my noodle toast. I know he does. "Secondly, human beings don't ask if they sell fish at KFC," he said and I immediately stood up on my bed pointing at him, causing it to squeak in pain. "You know full well I was delirious and drunk," I said through gritted teeth. "You've never been drunk in your life," he waved me off and I sat back down, ready to hear more reasons as to why I was a different species to him. "Thirdly, human beings are able to park semi-decently after a few months of learning," he said with a smirk. This struck a chord. "I'm getting better," I mumbled angrily. "That still doesn't change the fact-" "yes, I know!" You see, I may or may not have tried to park outside of Michael's house once and knocked down his mailbox as well as crushing his recycling bin. "And last but not least," he held up a finger and I stared at it, unamused and no longer interested in his teasing. "Drumroll, Ava," he ordered and I grunted. I used my knees as drums and my hands as drumsticks, drum rolling dramatically until I finished with my arms in the air and my eyes closed. "Human beings don't crush on Lucas Robert Hemmings," he concluded and I couldn't help but laugh.

"So tonight we've concluded that Luke is more awkward than me because I'm not human?" I asked in amusement, moving back into my previous position lying on my back. Michael spun on my chair to return to his Maths homework. "No, dumbass, we've reached the conclusion that Luke is the most awkward human and you are the most awkward... Whatever-you-are," he stated matter-of-factly. "And a part of the reason that I am a 'whatever-I-am' is the fact that I am crushing on the sexy Luke Hemmings?" I asked and I could see him literally cringe. "Yes!" He exclaimed and I pouted. "But Rose Anderson," I mumbled and he froze. He spun back around on the chair far too slowly and dramatically for my liking. He stared at me with a look of absolute shock and disbelief. I couldn't even tell if he was being serious or if he was just building up to a line of major sarcasm. "D-did you just imply Rose Anderson was... A-a human being?!" He yelled and I rolled my eyes. Knew it. "Michael, could you be serious for once?" I pleaded and he sighed. "Okay, just never categorise me in the same species as Rose Anderson again. She's her own species of pure evil and mad," he said quietly. Okay, so I'm with him there. Miss Rose Anderson may or may not be the spawn of satan, if not the actual satan herself.

"Do not even try and ask me why Luke is with her because if I could summon the all-knowing god right now to ask him one question and one question only about anything in the entire universe it would be that. But I can tell you, this all-knowing god would just stare at me with a blank expression and say, 'I have no freaking idea'," Michael said and I sighed, knowing that was probably true. "What does she have that I don't have?" I asked pathetically. "Venom, claws, snake eyes, fangs and the ability to summon armies of evil from the grave," he replied without thought and I couldn't help but marvel at his quick thinking.

"Lucas Hemmings is an idiot. He's in love with satan and there's nothing we can do but watch this duplicitous creature be a bitch to the human population but be a sweet cupcake in front of her Lukey," he said in disgust. "Have you told him she's a bitch?" I asked and he looked at me with bored, wide eyes. "Everyone has, Ava. He's just too deeply head over heels in love with the devil."

A/N: it's 1:30am woah. Hoped you liked this opening chapter x it's up to you if I continue with this or not, tell me if you like it so far!