Alcoholics Anonymous

Thirty-One: Broken Promise

While I waited for Sara to dress, I pulled on a pair of jeans and my black shirt. My hair was a mess, and my throat was dry. I needed a long, cold shower to release the suffering going on in my boxers.

I slipped out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. The need for alcohol was intense. I downed a can of Bud before I heard the shower go off in my bathroom, and the sound of the door unlocking.

"Hayden, do you own any clean towels?" Sara's voice shouted from across the apartment.

I slammed the can onto the counter and went to my makeshift laundry cabinet. After pulling out one of the white towels with my initial monogram at the corner, I walked into my bedroom. The bathroom door was cracked open, and all I could see were Sara's two, green eyes.

"Here." I tried to push the mass of fluff into the crack in the door, but it wouldn't fit, "Just open the door, and I'll turn my head." I told her simply.

The glare in her eyes was like a stab to my core. "Sure you will."

I glared back. "I said I would, didn't I?"

There was a while pause before she let the door fall open, and I instantly jerked my eyes away, leaving my arm with the towel in it to dangle towards her. It was snatched out of my hand instantly, and then the door shut again.

I waited in my bedroom until Sara opened the bathroom door again, and threw my the white towel. At first, I kept my eyes on her, but then, I felt something wet on the towel and glanced down at a few patches of blood on it. My whole body went alarmed, and I stood up abruptly.

"Sara, are you hurt?" I asked, a bit too loudly.

She blinked at me, an unreadable expression on her face. "No, stupid, I'm on my period."

My breathing hallowed out as I continued to stare at her.

"Well, as fun as this has been," She started, somewhat sarcastically, "I have to go. Thanks for," She paused again to consider, "the ice cream." Then she turned her back to me and left the bedroom.

"Wait, Sara," I said, touching her shoulder, and spinning her around to face me. I'd dropped the towel on the bed already, "you could have just told me."

"It's not just that, Hayden." She stated with an edge in her voice.

When I found myself at a loss for coherent words, I gave her a shamefully desperate look. "I stopped didn't I? That counts for something, doesn't it?"

Her eyes locked on mine for a long moment. "Look, Hayden, I get that you're trying to like, make me fall for you, and you're already so in love with me, but the truth is this: even if I did love you, I couldn't, because I made a vow to never be with an alcoholic. It feels too much like betraying my brother." Her voice trailed off, but her eyes never faltered.

"Why the fuck do you always have to refer to me as the 'alcoholic' or the 'drunk'. God, Sara, don't you see me as anything more than that?" I rubbed a hand down my forehead.

"Yes, I do. But as long as you really are an alcoholic, that's all I'll see you as." Sara told me honestly, turning out of my grip and stalking to my front door. 

I pulled on my shoes, grabbed my keys, and ran out the door after her. She was about to get into a cab when I took her arm again to stop her from leaving. "Wait, I needed to tell you something."

"What?" There was irritation clear on her face.

"I'm sorry." My eyes asked for so much acceptance, it hurt.

She looked at me before crossing her arms. "For what?"

I lowered my voice, "For breaking my promise."

"Is that all? Because I have classes in the morning, and I have to get some sleep." Sara said in a clipped tone, pretending not to notice my sincerity.

I smiled at her and bent down to lift her into my arms. "You're staying here with me, by the way." And then, as she kicked and screamed into my chest to let her go, I led her back up to my apartment.