Buachs p.o.v
I noticed Emily had been acting weird lately , always asking if I was okay or if I needed help it was kinda creeping me out . I didn't want to ask her about it because even though it was a bit weird she was still being nice to me and I didn't want to seem ungrateful . I lay on my bed just thinking about nothing some random things popped into my head but it was just stuff like random memes and vines id seen (rip vine) but then my dad popped into my head and I couldn't seem to get him out , along with my dad came all the horrid things he did to me and them felan and my sister . I started to tear up as my mum popped into my head , six years its been since she died and I was only ten at the time . It's not the fact thats shes gone thats making me the most upset its the way she went and also how I can barely remember her touch , her smell , what she looked like . Her . She was the most amazing thing in my life and I had promised id always be there for her but in retrospect it was my fault ahes gone . It was my fault she started the fight with my dad , my fault she hit him and my fault he hit her back . My fault he started drinking my fault he got aggressive . My fault shes gone. Anyone ive told about her and how she left has blames my dad and I should to , hes a disgusting man , hes worse than satan himself . The things he did to me , the things hes done to everybody . I sighed and pulled out my phone and put in my earphones, I went onto Spotify and pressed play. I felt like music was the best way to clear my head that or alcohol (vodka chaz0154) but id rather not . My playlist is full of loads of crappy songs so I skip a load but then I realised that I don't have unlimited skips so im going to have to listen to this one . The song just made me want to cry . (↑the song up top↑) The more I listened the more I thought of my mum and my dad and my sister and felan . My dad was a monster and I can see now that it was not my fault . The song ended and a new one started thankfully this one just made me burst out laughing
"Oh fookin jeysus pewds you always know how to cheer me up " I said talking to my phone laughing. " BUACH , MIND YUR FOOKING LANGUAGE " my sister screamed at me " POT KETTLE " I screamed back at her.
Crys p.o.v
Slice , drip drip drop drip , slice , drop drip drip drop ,sli.."ahhnn" I bit down on my hand dropping the razor " shit shit shit " I mumbled to my self wiping up the blood of the floor . Oh hi its me cry , and if you haven't noticed already I have extreme depression , the only thing keeping me from ending it all is felan and my friends . Do you know how bad it feels when kids hurt you just for being you , how it feels when your own parents are disgusted by you just because you didn't end up the way they wanted , how it feels to hate yourself so much that you hide your pain and ugliness behind a mask that always seems to break . Every day is a struggle and I have to paint on a fake smile just to keep the people around you happy . Thats another reason I wear the mask because I can keep the smile all I want but without the mask you would see the torment and fear in my eyes and know that it was all just a big lie . I sigh cleaning my arms and thighs cringing at the pain of the antiseptic wipe on my open skin , I rap bandages around my arms and place plasters on my legs . Buach is the only person I've ever told about any of this because one day when I first met him I walked in on him doing it to himself , I felt ashamed of myself for doing it as he had real reason to be in so much pain I was just being pathetic . Once all cleaned up I snuck out of the bathroom into my bedroom , careful not to wake up jake . I sighed and pulled out my phone and put in my earphones , I went onto Spotify and pressed play . Tears rolled down my face as I layed my head down on the pillow and cryed myself to sleep . The song made me feel so weak yet so powerful .
Jakes p.o.v
I lay In my bed , it was far to hot to sleep also I was worried for Ryan every night I hear the same things in the same order . Into the bathroom , dripping , crying , water running , some strange noise like tape being stretched and then him returning to his room . Every night I hear him cry himself to sleep , I don't want to question him about it as I fear that thst could make it worse and I also don't want to ask buach or fee about it as knowing them they would get worried and ask ryan . I sighed and pulled out my phone and put in my earphones , I went onto Spotify and pressed play . The relaxing music filled my ears as I close my eyes and enjoyed the song .
I decided that I need to ask someone about it if not cry then someone else that he might trust with this information. I felt my eyes get heavy and I fall asleep.
Felans p.o.v
2:00, 2:30,3:00,3:30,4:00 . I keep checking the time as if its somehow going to stop just for me to fall asleep . I feel so lonely , I want to call cry but I would feel bad for waking him up . I sighed and pulled out my phone and put it my earphones , I go onto Spotify and pressed play . I hum along as no one else is in the house with me at this moment in time
. I hate having to try to sleep as no matter where I lay im always leaning on a bruise and also my arse and back still hurts like all fucking hell and if you don't know why you've either not been paying attention orr your just to innocent for my own good . " owww , shit shitty shit ." I growl to myself as I fall of the bed , and being to lazy to get up and walk , I slid back up into my bed like some weird snake-man (voldemort , voldemort, oh voldy voldy voldy voldemort badum bum bum , -clears throat- um sorry bout that ) once back in bed the sing changes and I sing along because I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG , sorry
"CAUSE IM MR BRIGHTSIDE " I sing " FELAN ARVID PETER MCLOUGH , WHY IN HELLS NAME ARE YOU STILL AWAKE "my dad screamed at me " s-sorry pa " I murmured . Before laying my head down and switching my phone off . 4:30 , 5:00 , 5:30 .asleep
Sorry for not posting in aaagggeeesss but I've been .. actually I don't have an excuse im just lazy but as always
Peace out and
DUECES XX
YOU ARE READING
a YouTuber lookalike
General Fictiona new kid was moving to sundi high school . nobody really cared as they new it'll probably be a girl with a face caked with makeup or a lad who thinks far to much of him self so when the day came when they finally arived the shock was unreal.
