"My Mom's White Vans"

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by yikesonbikesonjeeps

by yikesonbikesonjeeps

She heard a slam at the door. "What the hell happened to the house?" Someone screeched. "Oh crap, Dad's home," Liz said, rushing her mom upstairs. "Liz..." Her dad said, with an evil look on his face. He looked angry. That's all you can see in his eyes. Anger. "Dad, this was all just bad luck. Y'know what I mean?" Liz said. "No, I DON'T know what you mean." He said, angrily. "It was just bad luck, dad, we live in the middle of the ocean god damn it!" Let me just point out, that her dad is a lawyer and they someone come from work to the middle of the ocean. Please don't ask how this happened.

Angrily taking out his lotion, he sprayed lotion all over his hand. "LOOK AT WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!" He yelled angrily. "Of courseee, like it wasn't your fault anyway!" She said, rolling her eyes. "You are as FAKE as a stapler! Fake!" He yelled. "Well your hair looks like a dried mop!" She replied. "Well you-"

"Why don't y'all shut up before I make you clean the kitchen with nail file!" Liz's mom said, holding a broom. "Or maybe, I'll comb that hair of yours with this!" She said, holding up the broom. "Or maybe, or maybe you should use deodorant more often. Hmm? How does that sound?" She hissed.

"What does god damn deodorant have to do anything, motormouth?" Liz said. "Nothing, unless it's including your face!" Her dad said.

A/N: this is legitimately the most dysfunctional family i've ever seen

Another door slammed. "What happened to our house? Mom! Dad! I can't go over a friend's house for a day?" Liz's sister, Naomi hissed. "Well, we have bad luck! Why won't anyone listen? Or should i say.. LIZten!" Liz hissed again.

What in the wo-