The One I Love

16:00

[tw: dv]

The sun leaves a blood red stain on the horizon as it fades into the night.

Why is it that the sun is always setting when she is with Jaewon?

"You should move in with me." He suggests with fingers clenched on the steering wheel, knuckles white. "I want to see you, not your sister..."

His neighborhood passing by the window is filled with trendy shops and restaurants. She knows it's better than hers, she would know even if he didn't always remind her.

"I can't move in with you." Jennie sighs, rubbing her still fragile wrist as her gaze stays focused out on the world passing them by in a blur of neon.

"Why not?" He doesn't look at her. He pulls into the parking garage, the dim light giving her skin an orange glow.

His hand not on the wheel is gripped around hers like a chain.

"Why did you want to date me?" She asks instead, resting her chin on her palm and observing him. His brows are furrowed as he diverts his attention to park.

She used to think he looked like Minho, but she couldn't see the resemblance anymore. His face is distorted by the shadows filtering into the car from the garage.

"Because you're beautiful." He answers finally, turning his full attention on her.

"That's it?"

He unbuckles his seatbelt and then hers.

"And you hated me. I really admired that in you."

"I hated you?" Jennie repeats. "Why the past tense?"

"Because now you just don't care." He responds, and she tries not to notice the sadness in his eyes. "It's lonely, you know."

"I still hate you." She tells him, reaching forward to trace the tattoo on his arm with her finger. "I think you're a narcissist, and an idiot. I hate you more and more everyday."

He lets out a joyless laugh. His breath smells like tobacco and mint.

"Were you going to cry earlier?"

"I don't want to talk about it." She turns to look out the window. "What would you do if we broke up? Would you kill me?"

He laughs again.

She sees his face in the reflection, a portrait of barely contained rage. She doesn't know why, but she wants to provoke him.

He had never asked why she'd finally acquiesced that one night and agreed to continue dating him. He probably always knew the reason. To Jennie, being with Jaewon has always been a way to punish herself.

"Maybe." He reaches toward her, wrapping his fingers around her healed wrist. His eyes meet with hers in the glass, his lips upturned wickedly. "You know, when I was a kid I liked to watch the birds as they landed on the tree outside my room. I wanted to break their wings, just so they couldn't fly away. Sometimes when I look at you I feel the same way I did back then."

"Are you saying you want to break my wings?"

His grip on her wrist tightens. She wonders if he can feel her pulse quicken.

"Are you afraid of me, Jennie?" The words slide off his tongue with such euphoria that she shivers.

"You think I'm afraid of you?" She laughs bitterly, shifting to face him. "I've never been afraid you... You can't be scared of something you expect... You're boring, I'm bored of you."

Instead of responding, he reaches into his jacket pocket and retrieves a cigarette. He lights the end, quickly filling the vehicle with a hazy smoke. Jennie stifles a cough.