Three Days ✔️

11

I'm leaving in two hours.

To go... somewhere.

I still haven't talked to Azariah, and I don't plan to. - I just want to leave.

I can't bear to see him again. - I literally broke him.

I broke myself, and I regret it.
Yet I don't.

I know I'm better off without him, and I know he's way better off without me.

I would feel out of place eventually, and he'd get rid of me. And it would be a huge bother for him to do that, knowing the pain that we'd both feel.

I feel the nothingness that I did when we rejected each other, but since it's only temporary, (In my wolf's eyes.) it's not unbearable like it was the first time.

This time it's like a constant irk to go back to him. - But I don't want to go back.

So I have the strength to fight it.

I also still have East under medication, not only so I can sneak out of here without Romyn coming to stop us, but that way she doesn't have to deal with the pain. It'd be much worse for her.

And he would, come for me I mean.

Azariah would tell him to let us go, but Romyn would fight against him. - And Romyn is obviously stronger.

And Azariah won't put him under medication, because he doesn't think I should leave him either.

It hurts him too.

He won't stop his wolf from freaking out, because his wolf has every right to freak out.

And while I agree, I don't want to see him.

Ever again.

I feel like after I leave, it would just be awkward, and stupid to come back.

So I won't come back.

Once I leave, I'll abandon my feelings.

Of course I'll miss him, of course I'll want to go back to him... but I won't be able to.
Like I said he'll be better off without me.

And that guy won't hurt him, because Azariah won't be a threat.

When I think about it this way, me leaving him, it makes sense.

A lot more sense then me staying, and having him killed.

Especially since I like him.

But whatever, I don't want to think about him.

I'm going to take a long nap. I don't know how long I'll be traveling, so I'm just going to take my time.

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It's been two hours. I'm supposed to be leaving right now, but I can't bring myself to move my ass.

I'm just reading. Because I can.

Mom hasn't talked to me yet, so maybe she bought me some more time.