Chapter 54

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"We need to talk" Aaron, at five o'clock in the morning. I am still wearing the dress and I still have makeup smeared all over my damn face, I am way too fucked up to clean it now.

"Yes ?" I said, almost as a whisper. I didn't sleep yesterday, I just couldn't, so I laid in bed all night, staring at the ceiling, and dreaming I was in his arms.

"The guy I was talking to.."

"The old man ?"

"Yeah, he kind of offered me a room, a good one next to the building I am supposed to take classes in. He said I have a huge potential and I could help him with some things"

"You are leaving me here ?" Oh no, the tears again. Awesome, now I am going to be depressed for a longer time, alone in an apartment.

"I mean, it's a good offer" His face was all red from the fight and his lip was bruised, I bet you Zayn's knuckles are too.

"You know what ? Leave, and don't feel guilty. I would've left too, with this chick and all her relationship problems who wouldn't !"

"It's not because of you Valerie, I like you as a friend, and you know that"

"I know. I like you too"

"Promise me you won't hate me, I have to take this opportunity. I promess I will come check on you when I can"

"I promess" I kind of smiled, not opening my mouth. He walked out, and I think I heard him packing and I felt that feeling you know, you let him go, now everyone is leaving.

---

It's been three days. Three days since everything started collapsing in front of me. I am sitting here, in my usual depressing-spot which is my shower. I like my shower in LA way better, this one looks cheap and the hot water only lasts for about a minute before it stars getting colder.

Aaron, he called his parents and told them everything. My mom called me, asked if I was okay 'I don't know mom' was all I said. She told me they missed me a lot, and she also told me Riley had been so busy with college stuff he did not have the time to call me.

My phone started ringing while I rinsed off the soap. I ignored it, because I was having a shower. I look like a raccoon-- no, a depressed raccoon. I haven't slept more than four hours in this three days and haven't eaten either. I can not just bring myself to do those things, I can't, they remind me of him too much.

My phone rang again, I took it with one hand and dried my body with the other one.

"Val ?"

"Yes ?" I sounded sick, horrible, like a zombie had eaten my throat. I haven't speaked in the last days either, just cried, which makes it worst.

"You sound awful" You could sense the sorry in his voice.

"I know"

"Tell me, everything. Spill the soup, say everything you want"

"I miss him" and I may have started crying again.

"I know"

"No Riley, it's not one of those pet 'I miss him'. I haven't eaten in the last three days, I haven't slept either, and... And I feel like a total and complete bitch because I am so fucking selfish and stupid and I hate myself right now"

"Yes, let it all out"

"I don't know what to do. I want to go back home and cry for the rest of the year. I don't want to go to fucking college and I don't want to meet new damn people ! All I want, is him. I want everything to be like before"

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