Only Mine

27 - rewritten

"I... Jake...," I was at loss of words.
But he didn't give me a chance to say 'no' to him. Or 'yes' for that matter. He got up, pulled me in the tightest hug like he never wanted to let go, but still as loving and gentle like he was afraid I will dissolve in his arms if he squeezed too much. God, even my thoughts made no sense.

He kissed the top of my head and then the shell of my ear, down to my neck, back up and finishing with a small peck on my nose.

"It's fine. I don't need an answer now. I'm going to let you process it, but you need to know I'm not backing down. As long as I will feel at least a hint of the love you have for me, I'm not going anywhere. And I'll make sure your love won't disappear. I may have screwed up, but I am more than ready to make up for my mistakes and show you no one will ever love you as much as I do. So, go now. Enjoy the rest of the wedding and will talk tomorrow when you had some chance to breathe."

"I don't know if I will be ready to talk tomorrow. You kinda went 180 from the last time I saw you."
"I feel stupid and naive to start trusting you again." My words a mere whisper at the end, but he still caught them. His thumb and forefinger touched my chin gently and pulled my eyes to his, so I could see how serious he was when he spoke his next words.

"You were never stupid or naive. I was the one who didn't deserve your trust and I will always hate the days without you because of it. And I promise, baby, I will do anything to get your trust back. I swear, you won't be able to get rid of me. Do you want me to go out there now and pledge my love for you in front of anyone?"
He already started turning and pulling me after him.

I grabbed his hand forcefully in an attempt to stop him.

"No, Jake. Stop. I'm serious. You'll embarrass me. Us. You'll embarrass us!"

He turns around and lifts me up in his arms, so the soles of my shoes are no longer touching the soft grass. He laughs my favourite laugh, the one with dimples showing, and I can't help but smile back.

"I don't mind public humiliation if it means you'll forgive me. I love you, you know."

"I..."

"Shh, don't say anything. Just remember now that the entire wedding I'll be wishing to be by your side, thinking about our own wedding. Think about this when you decide what to do with our relationship."

I give him a small nod and kiss his cheek before turning around and heading back to the wedding. Even though I feel shaken to the core about Jake's revelation, something I really did not expect today, my step is lighter and breathing became just a bit easier.

And then the thought actually settles in my mind. Is Jake really is back? Or is it one of his games again?

—-

Waking up the next morning was not pleasant for my head or, realizing when trying to get up from the heavenly soft hotel bed, any other part of my body. The wedding was a success and we had way too much fun, hence the raging hangover. That last few shots of tequila were definitely pushing it.
Nothing else happened with Jake after our talk in the garden, him keeping his promise of giving me space to breathe. Though, a few hidden glances were enough to heat me up from inside out. God, I missed sex. Sex with Jake, to be precise. Oh, hot sweaty dirty-talking sex that only Jake can provide for me.
My hormones are going haywire this morning and I can't help but laugh at my thoughts. Which turns out to be a mistake. Shit, my head hurts.

I drag myself out of bed and opt for a cold shower to wake me up. Then I can tackle the questions lurking in my mind since last night.
Am I taking Jake back? Can I forget everything that happened? And what exactly did happen? He never actually told me.
But I'm not fooling myself, I don't want anyone else except him and I don't want to waste any more time. I'm ready to wake up next to him every morning and cook with him at the end of the day before falling in bed exhausted from all the aforementioned sex. So let's see what the day brings.

With that resolution I step in the shower and the goddamn cold water just about rattles my bones, feeling like muscles are being separated from the bones they are attached to. Who on earth ever said cold shower is a good idea? I turn it back to almost scalding hot, and it makes me feel better instantly. I'll just fight hangover with something more reliable - like Bloody Mary.

I was mostly hanging out with Hanna and later with my mum for the rest of the day, enjoying the lazy hours spent with my favourite people. The thought of Jake wasn't far from my mind, but I decided not to stress about him and just see what happens when it happens. So when he called me that day in the evening, I did pick up, but decided against seeing him. I could feel the disappointment in his voice, but he masked it quickly, wished me a sound sleep and telling me he loves me, once again not waiting for my answer and hanging up. I wasn't sure if he was afraid of my answer or just didn't want to push his luck. However, tomorrow when I'll feel all fresh and in my right mind again, I'll go talk to him.

—-
He opened the door to his apartment the next day, and the smell of his shampoo wafted through air, tugging at my heart because of its familiarity and good memories. It used to be one of my favourite scents.
"You came. Come on in. Please."
His words were hesitant, but his eyes devoured every inch of my body, not holding back the fire in them. I loved it when he looked at me that way. I felt the sexiest woman on earth.

"Of course, I came. Thank you for inviting me."

"Jess, you don't need an invitation. This will always be your home too."

His eyes became sad at that and it broke my heart seeing him like this. But he is not off the hook yet. He was the one who left me and made me a stranger in this place, so he'll have to work on fixing it.

"Hm. So, how did you like the wedding?" Very smooth change of topic, Jessica.
I mentally rolled my eyes at myself, but Jake rolled with it and led me to the couch in the living room while numbering what he enjoyed the most. With his enthusiastic talk, it almost felt like old days and I knew he felt it as well, when his posture relaxed slightly.

"You know what I liked the most, though?"

"What?"

"There was this one instance when the party was ending, and you were heavily intoxicated if I may add," he gave me a playfully scolding look making me blush slightly, knowing he was right, "but there was this one time at the end when you looked at me without any reserve, and the pain you usually hold when you look at me wasn't there. That. That was the best part of my night, because for a few seconds I felt like my heart isn't being ripped out of my chest for not having you by my side."

Tears started gathering in my eyes and even if I wanted to, I couldn't hold them back. His warm hands cupped my face and caught every single drop.

"I'm so sorry for leaving like that. So sorry for hurting you when you gave me everything I never even knew I wanted."

My heart was beating furiously at his words, but I couldn't form any words yet. Regardless if I take him back or no, the hurt was still too fresh. And my head was trying to remind me how much I suffered when he left me like I'm the last thing in his world.
But then I looked at his pleading eyes and there was no denying all the love and sincerity shining out of them.

"It's fine, Jess, if you are not ready for us yet. I told you I'll wait for you and I meant it. But right now, I'm too selfish not to ask for something. I need to kiss you. Please. I just need to feel your soft lips against mine one more time, so I know you are real and not part of my never-ending dreams since I left. Just... please."

His eyes watered and I couldn't take it anymore. I closed the gap between us and brush my lips gently against his.
The loud sound of agonized relief that left his throat made me press to him further and he squeezed me tightly to his chest before devouring my mouth with a few months' worths of longing.
It finally, finally felt like... Home.

—*—

Thank you so much for getting this far and I'd love to hear your comments. Two more chapters are coming after this and then I'm officially finishing the book.

If you want to read more hot sexy scenes, check my new published short stories —> Midnight Tales 😈 (https://my.w.tt/ZEwEHqNdQO)

Thanks again for reading. 💚

Love, M