Remedy

I don't care anymore

It's been awhile since Shannon I spoke last I miss him like crazy. He decided to stay in the states while I went on with my life back in Rome. I was staying with my friend Jasmine due to Kali kicking me out of her home. I didn't care anyways I wanted to be nowhere near things that reminded me of her. She was dead to me her and Jared can rot in hell as far as I'm concerned. I also left the hospital with a newly developed addiction to pain killers. Shannon was the one that found me on that fateful day I laid lifeless almost dying on the ground. I couldn't be in pain it even for one day so I begged the doctors to refill my pain meds just one last time. Even when they hesitated I was there down on my knees begging for relief. I got my wish , one that I later wished I'd never received.

Shannon didn't enable me once he found out I had fallen into a deep dark drug abyss. I watched him walk out of my life for good after that day he no longer was my enabler to this nasty habit. I thought he was the selfish one little did I know I was the one who the most selfish of all. I wish I'd listened to his please for me to stop. I wish he was here right now to help me stop for good.

The phone rang from down the hall. I sat up on the bed and tried to stand up and fell flat on my face. As my nose gushed with blood as I crawled to the phone.  I felt like was ready to pass out when at last I finally reached it on the last ring. "Helll-"

"Are you high again?" He said so coldly to me. I didn't blame him at all.

"No...why would I be?" I wiped the blood from my lips and laid my head down on the ground.

"Don't fuckin lie to me! You need to stop this shit right now! Your my god damn sister for Christ sake and I don't wanna lose you!"

I was so pissed he was still calling me that. "IM NOT YOUR SISTER SHANNON HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU! I am your girlfriend and I love you and miss you like fuckin crazy I miss you !" I tasted my tears mixed in my own blood.

He stayed quiet for a few seconds and I waited for that dial tone when he ends the call. To my suprise he stays on the line. "Prove it! I've had sex with Kali and I know she's telling me the truth YOUR the liar why can't you just admit that fact?"

He just shattered my heart with those words he slept with her. I hung up and unplugged the phone. There was nothing left to say in this conversation. I sat up and felt the room spinning around me. Trying as hard I could I made myself get up and go back to bed. I haven't eaten for a week and I'm not even hungry.

Later that night I had the strangest dream that someone came into my friends house. I have no idea who is coming up the stairs. I don't have enough strength to even put up a fight if I'm threatened. Closing my eyes I pray on silence that I don't end up dead in the next few minutes.

"Why did you hang up on me and why do you look like shit ?" Well that's a nice way to say hello now isn't it? He walked in and I was shocked to see his face again.

"How the hell did you get from Louisiana to Rome In that short of a time? And I thought you never wanted to see me again?" I just stared at him waiting for him to say some more bullshit to me.

"I came to tell you that I'm sorry and that I love you! I was wrong and I am sorry I didn't believe you the first time. But I also came to do this-" he pulled out a gun and shot me twice and then shot himself in the heart falling on top of me. I feel his heart still beating in sync with my own. His hand grabs mine and we enter-twine our fingers together. "I'm sorry!"

I feel my body shutting down and then as I was about to tell him I love you to I wake up. I look around and he's nowhere around me. Tears stream down my face I feel like he will never be mine again. Not to mention it hurt to only see him in my dreams. I want to call him back so bad but my pride slams a roadblock in the way of my heart.

Another call came through a few hours later I didn't bother answering it.

"I have a feeling she knows it's you calling her that's why she won't answer. Maybe I should call from a blocked number." And so he did within two rings she picked up.

"Hello?"

"You sound like your still hitting the heavy stuff what is this about a month your a fuckin junkie? You know if you wanted to be a addict all you had to do was play nice with me and I would have become your personal dealer with a suck my dick discount of corse."  He laughed to himself.

"Oh fuck you and your dick jared! Why don't you just come  and kill me like you had planned too. You psycho motherfucker , I wish you would!" I was pushed to my limit and not scared of him anymore.

"You May get that wish after all, oh and maybe I can convince Shannon to come along except this time he won't be all lovey dovey like last time. Think I need to get that plane ticket tonight and I will see you very soon." He ended the call and I placed the phone back on the table again. Let's see if he really does show up and wants a fight with me.