Remedy

Second chances

This soup sucks but the nurse insisted I start back to food slowly and not try and over do it. I hate to be babied damit! Jared's back in the room and I have nothing to say except that it's gonna take me awhile to forgive him for what he's done to me. Giselle and Shannon I have to say I'm glad they came back even though I'm envious of their small family. It's all I ever wanted, a man to love and cherish me a child to take care of and love me back and just..I gotta stop thinking about everything I've lost because of him.

They tell me that I should've seen him while I was in the coma he's a changed man and he did this and he did that. What they failed to remember is that he could've cared less if lived or died when we had that knock out drag down fight. Why should I forgive him he can say I love all he wants but It's up to me to give him that and I'm not even close to ready.

"I brought you these!"  He stood over my bed holding flowers and smiling probably hoping inside I would ball like a baby and say I love you.

"There's a place over by the window far away from me you can set those."  I sipped on the soup and set it back down on the tray again. "So your a changed man eh? It took pushing me down and losing my baby for that to come out? I told you I loved you and would die for you and yet that didn't even phase you at all. How do I know your anger won't come back again if we fight? Why should I take you back?" 

He reached into his back pocket and turned back to me holding a small box kneeling down beside my bed. I knew what was coming and I wanted no part of it. "Will you spend the rest of your life and take your last breath as we leave this earth with me? I wanna make you the mother you always yearned to be. And if a big family is what you desire then that will become my desire as well. I can't be without you another day I know I've messed up badly but I'm not perfect nor have I claimed to be. What do you say , yes? " He smiled I saw his hands shaking.

Just then I thought what if I say no and lose him over my grudges and old wounds. He was right he wasn't perfect in any way but yet neither was I. "Yes, yes I will marry you Jared!"  I felt a weird feeling in my heart that I'd missed for a very long time. My anger had overshadowed my deep rooted love for him. I wanted a life with him and kids and the whole nine yards it was a huge gamble I was willing to take at this moment.

He kissed me and tears from his deep blues fell from him eyes.  My heart broke and it hurt me that I had almost hesitated saying yes. He was my everything all that I had in this world.  The ring was beautiful for me so perfectly.  I couldn't stop starring at it. 

Later on as we laid in bed watching a movie I looked over and he'd falling asleep.  I couldn't help but touch his face and smile. He opened one eye and I was busted.  Now I was the one crying, he just had this power over my heart that no one had ever before.  I couldn't wait to get out of this god forsaken hospital room and go back home with him again.