Silent words

Whole

Knew that this would happen right from the start

Day by day the distance tears us apart

Sitting with this useless phone in my hand

It's harder cause I know that you understand

December 13, Tokyo, Japan.

Winter has long approached, and it reminds Taka again that he's scared of cold. Already wearing his hoodie, sweat pants and socks; the heater already on to full power, it seemed to be no avail to let him get rid of the cold. He huddled under his duvet, staring at the window, raindrops pattered against the window pane. That's the cold, rainy season again.

His iPhone on his hand. Even though he is always checking his social media accounts, he has long lost his mood to do so. Because his mind is now occupied by one thing, one person.

He tapped a selfie with this person that he posted a while ago. He was leaning on that person, resting his head on that person's shoulder, smiling blissfully; while that person's one arm was wrapped around his shoulder. They were both wearing identical leather jackets with the same white shirt in it, in fact at that day they were also wearing the same black-coloured jeans and black sneakers.

My guitarist.

________________________

"This will be my first and last time posting a selfie of me and him. I know people has been feeling very strange about our relation, in front of the camera we seem like we are close friends but we never posted a selfie of us together. Indeed we are very close friends, but a few years ago our relation has been more than that.

I apologize if anyone is going to freak out seeing this, but I couldn't hold this any longer. Who knows this will become such an emotional rollercoaster for me. With him, I was very happy, very blessed, very loved; but now, all I feel is pain.

Yes, we dated for 2 years; yes, we were together; and yes, not anymore.

I am aware that people around me has been speculating, including people that knows me personally, they have been asking if him and I are together. I know we have been trying to hide it from the public, but sometimes our actions took over - the stares, the interaction onstage, the way we talk to each other. It has been a long time since I realized the change, but it took me a while to realize that this is at another level than just close friends.

So we then decided to go out together, to see how it goes. In the end we realized we liked each other a lot, we had the same feelings towards each other, that was how the flower blossomed.

I don't think I will say that we are both too young, we were already in our 20s when we went out together. But my mentality was too young and too weak to take up this challenge. I became too dependent on him but at the same time I took him for granted. My temper was really bad recently and I found myself shouting at him all the time. I know he had did a good job in tolerating me but I guess everyone has a limit, and he had way surpassed that limit a long time ago...

I was tired, he was tired too...

That was how we came to this decision.

But that doesn't mean that I have no feelings for him anymore. In fact, pain is all I feel, it hurts. The feeling is worst than dying.

I really don't know how I manage to get over all these, and still got the energy to write this. I'll try to hang on, and I'll try to move on.

Love can never wipe away the close bond between us, we might not be a couple anymore, but we'll still be best friends, we will still be making a lot of songs together for you guys to listen. ONE OK ROCK will not disband just because of this, we'll continue to work hard and bring the best for you guys.