Silent words

Epilogue

(Taka's Instagram post, 7th December 2023)

"Happy birthday to my most important person! This month marks our 10th year together as a couple! Surely time flies, but what's more better to grow old together with the person you love the most by your side?

Because this is his birthday please allow me to be personal in this post. Toru, you won't imagine how much you mean to me - I know I have been saying this again and again that you have get bored of it - Sometimes I just feel like you are the most ridiculous and cold-hearted person on earth; sometimes I get really mad at you for making a mess in our house; sometimes I feel that you are the most boring person in the world, but most of the times out of those 'sometimes', you are my best boyfriend and no one else in the universe can replace you.

We've went through so much together, I can't say that our relationship is a smooth one despite us already knew each other for years before we started dating. I can't remember how many times we fought with each other and had cold wars for days. Not to mentioned that we actually broke up once, I was so sad at that time, I knew that was both of our decision to take a break from each other with no intention of getting back together. But I have to say that time was one of the toughest in my life. You won't be able to imagine how much I've cried thinking of you and the memories we had. After we broke up I had a surge of ending my life, and that was when you came back and I'm glad I didn't do anything foolish so that I can see you again.

We spent such a long time that day talking things through, but most of the time we were just hugging each other crying our eyes out. We then took a complete day off the next day, staying on bed the whole day doing nothing except cuddling each other, falling asleep so many times. I think that was the day where we grew so much more closer to each other. In fact, after the breakup we learned that we can't live without being in each other's side. I realized how important you are to me - more than a best friend, more than a family, more than a lover, more than all three of them combined - and that was when we learned to cherish each other, fighting hard to not lose each other again.

After we got back together from our breakup, our relationship became much more stronger and stable. We now rarely fight, even if we do it doesn't last any longer than 2 hours because we know we love each other and we will always get back to each other's side.

I'm so emotional now realizing that I've went through all the ups and downs with you. It is definitely not a smooth journey for us because first of all we are both men and such a relationship is still taboo in most societies. I'm sure we both had the thought of giving up our relationship before - not once but multiple times - but I'm glad we made it together. Love triumphs all of the obstacles we are facing. With you by my side, I can never feel more safer.

You accept all my flaws and imperfections, and love me as who I am. I know you are the kind of person that is unable to feel love and affection towards someone, and I'm glad to be the first and only person that makes you feel so strongly towards. Thank you so much for tolerating my bad temper and feisty character. You never asked me to change but I eventually did, and it was you who realized that my temper has gotten better. I guess love changes a person...

I guess this is the longest ever birthday post that I've written for you. I really wish that you can feel how I'm feeling right now. I know it's common for couples to grow out of each other after being together for some time, and we did went through that, but the breakup changes everything and makes me fall in love with you again and again. I never love harder in my life. Please be the only person that can let me do that.

Here's to another 10, 20, 30 years together. I can't promise you that I will be your best boyfriend but I can promise you forever, okay?

I love you."