Words (Harry Styles AU)

04

Harry made a turn to speak, but no words came out.

He closed his mouth and stared at me, searching my face for something. After a while, he just nodded.

"Okay." He stated simply. His eyes sparkled in the candlelight, but they gave away no obvious emotion.

"Okay...?" I repeated, confused on what he was trying to say.

"I can't say that if I were in your position, I would've done the same, but I understand where you're coming from. Curiosity is in human nature." 

I was pleased and surprised by his depth of intellect; Harry took this better than I thought he would.

"But," he started, his eyes burning into mine with intensity, "Curiosity killed the cat you know." 

His words were harsh but his tone was light and teasing. He smirked and I could tell it was his way of forgiving me.

"I'll keep that in mind." I smirked back coyly, victorious that I finally got a positive emotion from him.

Ten minutes later, Harry and I were walking through the cold, but very much awake, city. After he stuffed his journal into his jacket pocket, he had stood up to leave, but I was desperate to keep his company for longer. I had impulsively invited him to Times Square with me, which he had hesitatantly agreed. 

I don't know why I was so drawn to him, and why I had quickly tried to find an excuse to spend more time with him. It shouldn't be a big deal; I had just met him. But I felt like I already personally knew him because I had read his innermost thoughts through his journal. Plus, there was no denying that he was extremely attractive.

We held light conversation as we walked side by side. He asked me questions about myself, and I noticed that he was reluctant to answer questions about his family and past, so I changed the subject. All he disclosed to me was that he was a sophomore, his parents were divorced, and he had a sister named Gemma.

Our conversation eventually died down to slightly uncomfortable silence. I could start to see the dazzling lights of Times Square, and my pace subconsciously quickened.

Harry noticed my excitement and asked, "Come here often?"

"Not since I was a little girl," I told him. "My family has lived in the same small town for forever, and we rarely got out."

"Is that why you picked New York? To get away?"

"Yeah. Change is always refreshing," I explained. "What about you?" I added out of habit, maintaining the small talk.

The words were out before I could stop myself. I suddenly remembered the journal entry I read a few hours ago, and instantly regretted asking when he visibly stiffened.

"Something like that." He answered cryptically. It was obvious that the topic was not open for discussion.

We reached the first row of shops. It was almost midnight but there was still a good amount of people here, even thought most of the stores were closed by now.

Harry followed me as I walked further into the street. The huge billboards displaying multiple animated adverts almost hurt to stare at for too long. I took in the sight, completely breathless and astounded by the beauty. It wasn't the kind of beauty people usually looked for in nature, it was beautiful in a sense that man created all of this.

I turned to Harry, wanting to share the experience with him. He was already looking at me intently, but quickly looked away when I caught his stare. My eyes widened at the thought of him watching me, but he held a straight face. What was with him and not showing any emotion? I wasn't fooled by the walls he built for himself; I knew he had a more interesting personality than he showed - his journal entries were proof of his individual persona.

I pushed away my thoughts and went back to observing my surroundings. The people around us chattered relentlessly, the noise mixing in with the sounds of cars on the street to produce a blurry buzz. The colossal buildings cluttered together were so high that it was difficult to see the stars. I just stood there, admiring the view, and Harry didn't seem to mind. There was no longer an awkward silence between us, it had shifted to a comfortable quietude.

We walked around a bit more, and Harry showed me a few of his favorite stores. 

"That," he said, pointing to the closed Hershey's Store, "is possibly the best shop here."

I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Maybe you should take me sometime." I teased, only half-joking.

Harry chuckled lightly at me, but didn't reply. For the first time, I noticed he had two deep dimples that framed his perfect white teeth and pink lips. I also noticed that the tip of his nose was slightly pink due to the light breeze. It was too endearing for his own good, and I looked away before my thoughts could spiral out of control.

Harry and I continued walking, enjoying eachother's presence with not many words exchanged between us. The wind picked up, causing goosebumps to form on my arms - I had forgotten to bring a jacket when I left my apartment. I shivered involuntarily, and Harry quickly noticed. He seemed to have an internal debate with himself before he shrugged off his black jacket and offered it to me wordlessly.

I opened my mouth to object but he shook his head in defiance before I could speak. 

"Thanks." I mumbled and shot him a shy smile, slipping my arms through the sleeves. It smelled strongly of the heavenly bitter-but-sweet cologne he wore, and I practically swooned.

"We should probably head back now, it's getting late." Harry told me after he glanced at his watch.

I nodded and we switched directions, walking back the same direction we came. I felt a twinge of disappointment that my night with Harry was ending. He wasn't much of a talker, but I still felt at ease and happy around him.

Our walk back seemed faster than the walk there. Few words were exchanged other than Harry asking me where I lived; he lived on campus with one other room-mate.

We arrived at the front of my apartment, and I returned his jacket to him after discreetly inhaling his scent again. 

"Thanks for accompanying me." I wasn't quite sure what else to say; it had suddenly become very awkward and I played with my hands uncomfortably.

"No problem, it was nice meeting you Ella. I'll see you around." He replied, but made no move to walk away.

We stared into eachother's eyes for a couple of seconds, and then my eyes flickered downwards to his full lips. They were a cherry red from the cold air and his tongue darted out to wet them. God, I wanted to feel them on mine. Kiss me, I silently begged.

His eyes flickered towards my lips too, and he swallowed loudly before breaking the tense silence.

"I better go." He spoke quietly, already taking a step back.

My cheeks immediately flamed at his obvious rejection. This was absolutely humiliating.

"Uh yeah, see you around." I echoed his words from earlier, my voice an octave higher from embarrassment.

He ducked his head down and avoided eye contact with me as he raised his hand in a wave before swiftly walking away, leaving me standing alone on the front steps of my apartment with flushed cheeks and crushing disappointment.

~

{ a/n } wtf harry?

vote and comment if you liked it! -rachel