20 Days <3

20 Days

Working as a lawyer, I found that life was just a vicious circle. First you are born. Second, you grow up and spend so many years just preparing yourself for when you are grown up and need an income. The whole point of your childhood is to get and education for a great job. Kids think that jobs are wonderful things that everyone is happy doing what they do. Many are disappointed to find that one job they were dreaming of is more a dream than reality. They don't understand how much effort it is to earn a dollar. Life isn't full of surprises, just hard work. Only once they understand it all, they're gone. But this would be the circle of an average persons life, not my life.

This "circle" of my life is seemingly endless. I wake up, brush my teeth, iron my suit, and then put it on. Every morning I make myself toast and catch a cab to my local office. I get two to five clients a day who I then must choose who I should represent and not in court.

My office is separated from another office with a café in between. The office that I'm separated from is the office of my friend, Judy. She also is a lawyer, so we have much in common. Every lunch break, I sit at the table to Judy's right and order a Caesars salad. After all these 8 years I've been doing this, I've never spoken a word with Judy, as crazy as it sounds. I've only exchanged friendly looks with her. But like the coward I am, I never have enough courage to at least say hello.

Next, after working with another client or two, my shift is over. I usually stay at least half an hour late to finish legal papers and to look into my cases. After, I grab a cab and go home. I feed my dog, Butch, a black and gold boxer, the remains of my dinner. I watch television for an hour then go to sleep. Then it all starts over at 5:30 A.M.

Throughout my day, I sometimes get these horrific headaches that pound and never seem to go away. I've consulted a doctor once before, and he gave me migraine medication. Sure, it worked for about a week, but then the headaches came back, sometimes making my work impossible. But like all men do, I suck it up and keep at my job, trying to earn that paycheck I need to support my wealthy lifestyle.

Yes, I would say parents do stare at me and think to themselves, "Why, what a lucky, wealthy young man! If only my son was like him." I hear whispers everywhere I go on the streets. I'm actually quite paranoid. In a city like this one, thieves and crooks are all around, hiding and waiting to pounce on me and steal one of my Armani watches or overfilled wallets. So in a sense, I have the right to be paranoid.

All the time I hear people say, "Every day is full or surprises! Life is impossible to be boring! It's only boring to those who don't make something of everyday!" I would have to strongly disagree with this phrase. Every client I meet is very predictable; never surprising. A woman with bags under her eyes and horrible mess for hair would be a woman who wants to get divorced. A man in a suit is a representative for a man or woman in jail. The problem I have with the statement above is I make something out of my life, yet nothing exciting has happened in years, until now.

Day 1

At lunch today, my headaches became unbearably brutal and painful. They were so extreme I had to get my secretary to bring me to the doctors. He asked me questions regarding the length of my headaches, the area of the headache, and the intensity. When I answered them all, he gave me a look I knew meant there was bad news.

The doctor tells me that it seems there's a possibility that I may have a brain tumor. This doesn't startle me at all. The word possibility means it's a mere assumption and can be proven wrong once a scan was taken on my brain.

Since my condition could be unstable, the doctor thought it would be best if I took the test right away. Within half an hour, I was sitting inside the machine, listening to the motor churn above me. I have to admit, it was one of the few things that I had a fear of.

Only slightly concerned, I go back to work by hauling a cab. Right when I start reading through a contract, I get a phone call from the doctor. He told me my test results were in. He told me I might not want to hear the results. He told me the test showed a large tumor progressively growing on the left side of my head. What he told me next, I wasn't prepared for. The cause of this tumor was brain cancer. I have to spend the next day at the hospital for further tests. In all my life as a lawyer, I had never missed a day in 8 years. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.