Deep Into His Eyes

The Unnoticed Crush

Blushing is Crushing but is it crushing you to blush for someone?

A sigh escapes Jazz's mouth as she stares at her phone, a gorgeous picture of a shirtless singer is spread across her screen. "If only he knew who I was...." famous 16 year old Shawn was the one person Jazz adored, he was plastered all over her room, his songs were constantly playing and his face never left her mind.

Next year his concert was in Sydney and she would fly from Brisbane just to see him. She knew she would enjoy it yet the thought that the reality of it was that she was just another fan that would never be noticed by the fabulous Shawn kept tearing her heart in two. She could wish and fantasise all she wanted but deep down she knew they never have a possibility of being true. Although if she could give anything and everything, she would make it true.

The pain in her heart slowly lifted, she must remain positive, she must see the good in life, she can't let a little fantasy get her down. She smiled at the thought of her privilege to hear his sweet voice, whenever she wanted, wherever she wanted. Soon her angelic voice could be heard over his, her heart pouring out the lyrics and pride because she had memorised every single word, of every song. She knew it all.

"Jazzy!!!!! Time to go to the horses" her Mum called from out at the kitchen, "eeehhhhh" Jazz squealed. The light to all her shadows, horses, the love of her life, they have been her world since she was young. The horse she rides at the moment is called Bella, a sweet black mare who Jazz loves with all her heart, she's a standardbred and she's the sweetest horse you could ever meet, well that's Jazz's opinion on it.

She bounced out to her Mum to see a beam on her face. Jazz was addressed with her Mum's usual complimenting greeting. "Jazz, your such a beautiful girl, I love you so much"  Jazz smiles with her eyes full of pride to have such an amazing Mum, no one could ever understand the love she had for her Mum. She could never be able to put it into words the amount of appreciation, admiration and love she has. "Come on, let's go," her Mum says with a smile on her face as they walk off to the car.

The engine starts and the car shakes as Jazz opens a message on her phone from one of her best friends, Taylah. "Hey, what are you doing on the weekend??" As Jazz reads the message she instantly understands that Taylah wants a sleepover, "Typical Taylah" Jazz laughs to herself. "Nothing much want to come over??" Jazz replies, she asked her Mum but her Mum isn't keen on the idea. "Please Mum, you won't even know we are there!" Jazz pleads, "Ummmm I don't know Jazz we are a bit busy..." Jazz's Mum replies avoiding contact with the Puppy Eyes, "ok...." Jazz sighs, she tells Taylah the bad news "sorry you can't come over, Mum said no..." Taylah replies with "Oh ok. All good"

The rest of the car ride Jazz has her head against the cool glass window and suddenly everything seems to not go so well, first the love of her life has no idea who she is, now she can't have a friend over. It might not seem much but in her head it feels like a tornado of horror is sweeping through her brain and turning every last inch of thought into disaster. Suddenly the car stops and Jazz jumps out and her world is bright again, Bella is at the fence waiting to greet her. The smile on Jazz's face can't be ignored and all the misery is washed away with a simple glance of the beautiful black beauty in front of her.

The wind whipped through her hair as she rode over jumps, around barrels and through fences. She was alive, horses were the sun to her world and nothing could ever replace that. She could feel the adrenaline rush through Bella and it slowly crept through Jazz, one last jump and they had to make this one good. Closer and closer they ran, almost there..... Jazz prepared for the jump, and suddenly Bella slammed her feet and came to a stop, she reared up tossing Jazz off her back and onto the hard soil. "Ooof" Jazz grunted as she landed with a thud, pain was exploding in her arm and there was a pounding in her head, she struggled to sit upright as her arm felt like a thousand knives were stabbing into it and her head felt like it was pulling her to the ground forbidding her to get up.

Although she made it upright she was still in shock and she felt the tears sting her eyes and the burning pain in her throat as she swallowed back the salty tears. She couldn't show pain and she knew it, she needed to get back on the horse and redo that jump. She needed to prove to herself that she can do it and show the horse that she's the boss and Bella will jump if she tells her too. Determined, she stood up but to her surprise Bella was no where to be seen, in all the shock she hadn't noticed that Bella had run off. The pain suddenly disappeared as the fear overcome her.

"The paddock isn't that big, she couldn't have gone far," Jazz thought to herself. She looked around but Bella had vanished, "ok Jazz calm down, she might just be behind a tree or something" Jazz reassured herself but deep down she still doubted that was even true. She slowly stood up, fear grasping her ankles making it hard to walk, the fear that she won't find Bella over coming her making all the shadows creep out towards her and every inch of darkness consumed her thoughts. She dreaded what she might find and horrific images flashed through her head and she had to swallow the giant lump rising in her throat.