Small Things Hurt Most

Truth

"I'm mad at myself because everything," Sealand finally admitted after several moments. A look of confusion and sympathy flashed across Denmark's face, and his grip on His hands loosened a little. "What do you mean?" He asked for the second time since their serious talk began.
Sealand took a deep breath. His heart was pounding, and his face was burning. He didn't want to do this- he didn't want to say what was wrong, but he knew he should. He was going to for Denmark at least.
"I'm small. I'm weak. And you know what? I can't do a freaking thing. I'm useless."
"Sea..." Denmark breathed. Sealand had shut his eyes tightly to keep any tears from falling. It was humiliating to say any of this. He wished everyone would leave him alone so he'd never have to say anything. After another steadying breath, he began again.
" I really don't even know why you care. I'm not a Nordic- I'm not your family," Sealand snapped bitterly. Denmark suddenly let go of his hands to pull him into an embrace. He had wrapped his arms around him when Sealand pushed him back. Even more than humiliated now, rage boiled inside of him.
"Everyone says that I have no idea what real pain is. That I'm too naive to understand half of the things you talk about. Well you know what? When you are so angry at yourself that you think everyone would be better off without you, you start to understand things."
He looked down, refusing to look Denmark in the eye." So what does it even matter that I hate myself?" He seethed, " Why do I even matter to you?" When he finally looked up, he saw that Denmark's mouth was hanging open slightly and a confusion shown in his eyes. Sealand's face got even hotter, embarrassed that he was saying all this, but furious at the same time.
And what did it matter, anyway? If they were going to leave him, they might as well know how angry he was. Give them something to remember him by.
Tears stung in Sealand's eyes as he pushed against Denmark, who had tried again to hold him in an embrace." W-why do you even care?" He said harshly. He took a shuddering breath and began again.
"It's not like I'm worth it. And I know everyone thinks I'm that annoying brat who should just go away. So why don't you tell me to stop whining? That real nations have it so much worse? Aren't you going to tell me off or something?"
Denmark, still silent, finally got his arms around him. The hug was warm and inviting, but the idea of it was cold and cruel. He was being nice just so he could push him away later, just like everyone else did.
He pushed Denmark off of him, weakly leaning away from him. He stood up to look him in the eye. Denmark didn't say anything, and looked down, not meeting his gaze.
"I...j-just..." Sealand whispered. His voice was like sandpaper against his throat, and he had to force any sound out. His face burned and tears felt sticky on his cheeks. He took a step away from Denmark.
"So just do it. If you're going to tell me to stop overreacting, just do it already." His voice caught in his throat. Even if he wanted to say anything else, he doubted he could.
Denmark sighed, and, when he looked up, Sealand saw that his eyes were red rimmed.
"Sea..." Denmark began, looking at him softly,  " I am so, so sorry ya feel like this."
Denmark stood and took a step towards him, then rested a hand on his shoulder.
"I just wish I knew earlier... how long have ya felt this bad?"
Sealand said nothing. Once again he looked down to avoid Denmark's gaze. He heard Denmark sigh. He watched as the nation walked to the door and unlocked it, walking out. Sealand followed him. He watched as Finland, Norway and Sweden joined him in a tight circle in the hotel's living room.
They talked for a while, none of it Sealand heard, but he knew they were talking about him.
Dread and fear pooled in his stomach. It made him sick, and he wished he had never said anything. He hadn't meant to get that angry, at least not at Denmark.
After a while of just watching them, Sealand retreated back to his room. He didn't sleep, staring at the ceiling until he couldn't even think.