For You |Buckin|

Every time I Pull You Close You Disappear

Valentine's Day, February 2002

   When Chris walked in the next morning into the studio Jonny immediately asked, "How are you? Sorry I had to leave since stuff came up." Chris' voice was hoarse, "It's fine, I'm fine." Jonny asked again, "You don't sound fine." Chris shook his head, "I really am, just tired." Jonny eased up and backed away. 

  Chris shuffled to his piano and tried to play. He couldn't bring himself to sing, he tried. Words didn't flow, his hands froze as he tried to think of anything to play or even sing. The other three had stayed quiet to listen to him. 

  They all knew what had happened and they all felt quite bad. Will broke the silence, "You could just take a personal day, to... regain your footing." Chris shook his head, "No, I really don't need anything." Chris played a few chords and tried to have their work go back to normal and it did. Will walked over to Jonny and whispered to him, "Chris doesn't seem so good. You guys are close, you should try to help him get over it. I don't know, we can't get much work done with him like this."

 Jonny nodded and looked at Will and Guy. They both looked very concerned. Jonny walked behind Chris and put his hand on the other's shoulder. "Hey. How's everything coming along." 

  Chris closed his eyes before looking up at Jonny and saying, "Quite well."

  Jonny said, "Let's walk." 

  Chris asked, "To where.." 

  Jonny said, "The park."

   Chris asked again, "Why?" 

  Jonny smiled, "To inspire new ideas."

   Chris smiled and stood up, "I'd love to do that." The two left and got into the elevator. Jonny asked, "Are you still gonna keep Green Eyes for the album?" Chris blushed, "Of course, it's not for her anyway." 

  Jonny opened the door for him, "Then for who is it?" Chris took a deep breath, "You." Jonny chuckled, "Funny joke." Chris shook his head, "Not a joke, it really is." Jonny blushed, "That's really sweet." 

  Chris nodded, "When I wrote it, I didn't set out for it to be about you it. It kind of came out naturally." Once they left through the door Jonny cursed, "It's so cold." Chris shrugged, "It's your fault for wearing short sleeves." Jonny sighed, "I do wanna address the elephant in the room."

 Chris nodded, "I know, it's just been a rough breakout, turns out she cheats too." Jonny put a hand on his shoulder, "That's what the magazines say, you can never trust those."

 Chris sniffed and leaned his head on Jonny's shoulder, "Maybe but, still. I really did love her and she said she loved me too." Jonny said, "Why'd you break up then." Chris took a breath, "We had felt for other people." Jonny asked, "Both?" His breath caught in his throat as he waited for an answer. 

Chris blushed, "Yeah." Jonny nearly jumped which made Chris stand up straight. Jonny smiled, "Tell me who!" Chris shook his head, "It's embarrassing." Jonny hummed, "Ok, I guess I'll stop bothering you. I do wish you two good luck." 

Chris felt awkward at his comment. Ever since they met he knew he liked Jonny. He put himself in relationships to see if his feelings would ever stop. They didn't. He didn't want to make a move, he was always too scared.