On December Something

The First Letter

The Dursley's Home
Harry's Hogwarts Letter

Petunia sat on her bed with the back of her head resting against the headboard. She was frustrated and for once it wasn't with the kids. It was with Vernon. He knew what the letter to them read from Dumbledore but he had taken it a step too far. He ignored the wishes of the wizard and had planned to keep Harry in their possession forever. He refused to let Harry be who he was.

In the letter to Petunia, Dumbledore clearly stated that when the time was right that she would reveal to him who he truly was. This way it would give him the letter and time to come to terms with things. Yet again, Vernon was meddling where he shouldn't. She had no choice but to go along with his antics. She couldn't reveal her true feelings to Harry. She had kept up the charade for years and she wasn't going to let it falter now.

After Vernon had moved what little belongings Harry had into Dudley's second bedroom, Petunia had locked herself away in her own bedroom to think. Besides, she couldn't take anymore of Dudley's complaining and whining.

She should have heeded the sign at the zoo. When the glass disappeared she was more scared for Harry than she had been for Dudley. Part of her wished that he had been a squib so she could cut the act but she knew better. Her brother-in-law and sister were very powerful. There was no way their kid wouldn't be magical.

"I've had it, Petunia," Vernon hissed, shutting the door behind him and turning around to glare at her.

"So have I," she whispered, meaning it with a heavy heart.

Was this her life? She should have taken a stand and shown her true self years ago. According to the last letter she received from Remus, Sirius had been accused of killing her sister and sentenced to Azkaban. She learned that was a wizarding prison that was infinitely worse than a muggle prison. She knew it was false. He loved them and he loved Petunia. If she had taken that stand then maybe Sirius wouldn't be in Azkaban and maybe they could have finally been together the way they should have been. No, she was stuck here in an ordinary world with an ordinary man doing ordinary things. She had to pretend it didn't bother her and that was the worst part.

"This is all of your damn fault," he accused.

She didn't even flinch at his words. She was too used to their meaning to care.

"Of course it is," she agreed.

It was, wasn't it? She could have changed her life and been the best aunt she wanted to be. Oh, it was so frustrating for her.

"We should have placed him on someone else's doorstep. You caused all this mess!"

He was so heartless. She couldn't bear the thought of placing him in someone else's hands. It wouldn't be fair to him, to her, or to Lily. Maybe it was her fault. She hadn't conformed to his way of living like he had expected. She was still a little odd even though she pretended not to be. She had hidden her secret from the world well for the past years and she would be damned if she would let it slip. She'd be out of everything if they knew.

"We made a promise to keep him safe until the letter came. Then when the letter arrived we would spill the beans on what was happening to him but continue to be the hateful family that we are. You took it too far, Vernon. You were supposed to let him read the acceptance letter. Not harbor the letter and all information. I should give him the letter myself," she started, standing from her spot to seize the letter on the dresser.

He moved to stop her and grabbed her wrist harshly. This wasn't her first experience with his harshness. She had received the brunt of it many times after they were married. It was always a verbal rudeness that encompassed her. Sirius had expressed his hatred for the man when he saw the first signs of it. She had to stay with him no matter the cost. She had to for Dudley and for Harry. It wasn't about her anymore. Maybe one day things would be different but for right now she had no choice.