Amnesia ||

01. Remembering

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia and forget about the stupid little things like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you, and the memories I never can escape

But I can't, and I remember the pain as it happened yesterday and each day that goes by feels like the sting of salt being added to the open wound that is my heart.

                            ~~

A warm arm is placed around my waist and I look over to see a smiling face looking back at me

"Did you know" she begins to say to me "that at Disneyland the water on 'Splash Mountain' by law has to be clean enough to drink?"

I reply without a simple "I never knew" even though she told me this yesterday. She's going through a rough patch at the moment and basically Disneyland is all she cares about anymore, besides me.

"We're going to go there one day you know." she said for the third time today

"You know it." I reply, squeezing her shoulder, my fingers brushing over her scars.

We walk home in silence, enjoying each others company, deep down in the backs of our minds not knowing how much time we have left.

                               ~~

The next day was one of the worst.

I walked into her room to see her clutching a blade in her hand, covered with a mess of tears and blood.

I through the blade away and hold her tight and with tears slowly running down my face I repeat to her "Think of Mickey..... Think of Mickey." gently rocking her until she calms down enough to fall into a light sleep.

I don't leave her that night, I just sit there holding her and watching her gentle body go up and down as she steadily breathes.

                              ~~