ranting and getting things off my chest

rant #1

I'm ranting today because this guy I've been wheeling for sometime now has just ended things off. He said that since I am incapable of loving myself I am incapable of being loved. And that's true enough I don't love myself actually I hate myself a lot. I have an eating disorder, anorexia. Well it's not a fully developed disorder yet, I still eat super every now and again but that's about it. I skip my lunch and breakfast. I know it's happening to me and I don't feel like changing it because this is making me feel better about myself for once. I have really bad depression swings where I will be great one day and the next I will be bawling my eyes out for no apparent reason, but today I had a good one, the guy I had fallen for had decided to give up on me just when I was doing the best I have been in a long time, or at least I WAS doing the best. Since this afternoon when I got that phone call its been down hill. He told me that since I don't know who I am, I am a question Mark and no one can love a question mark. Mind you this is right after I told him everything that was wrong with me. He says it's for my best, and he's doing it for me. But I think he's just given up completely and just wants to leave but I expected this. Everyone leaves and my life is a waiting game. I'm just waiting for every person in my life to walk out one by one. And when everyone is gone I think the world will e a better place because then I wont have anyone to harm anymore. Dm me and let me know what I should do about my current situation. Thank you for reading.