LIFE

- Loss -

It hurts so much.

Knowing that you lost someone so close and you have the memories.

But you will never hear their voice again,

feel their hands again,

see the smile they wore on their faces...

And worst of all,

you will never be able to feel the arms around you in a warm hug they gave you...

You lost them,

and you have the memories and love,

but the pain will always remain in your heart like a hole that was drilled through it.

But you live on.

Because you know they won't want you to join them soon,

you know they will want you to live your life to the fullest with no regrets.

So all you can do is live,

and do not give in.

I've learned from my mistakes and I have nearly given in twice,

but I thought before I did,

"Would it be worth it?"

"To make them sad that I ended it all this way?"

"To make them feel this way just because I couldn't handle the same pain my family and friends do each and every single day?"

That's why I continue moving forward,

dealing with each and every single day.

Because I know,

that I must survive for them.

So for those out there who lost someone, live.

Know that you aren't alone and there will always be someone,

anyone,

to help you through the pain.

The pain may not disappear but it will fade with time,

but you can't forget.

Remember,

that there were good times,

there were bad times,

and there are still good times and bad times.

Just in your memories.

Yes, we may cry over the lost ones,

but we will have the memories of good and bad times.

I lost my Uncle thanks to an accident.

The driver wasn't paying attention and didn't stop,

so he hit a motorcycle.

My Uncle's motorcycle.

I didn't ever get to say goodbye.

I have cried many nights but I just tell myself this to help me move forward.

Death can't be stopped.

It never can be,

and it never will be stopped.

It can just be put on hold.

That's all.

There is no stopping those you love from leaving you,

and nothing stopping yourself from leaving them.

Yet again,

ask yourself...

"Is it all even worth it?"

"Dying because of your self-hate,

your sadness,

your hate towards the world because of what happened to them?"

I shall tell you myself,

it isn't worth it.

It never will be...

because dying from your sadness will cause it to spread to others because they care.

They always cared,

they always tried to help.

You may think it's better to shut it all in,

to wear a smile to make them believe you are alright.

It's not.

Bottling up feelings will just make them all eventually come out like a tidal wave of emotions you can't stop,

so,

what do you do when you can't think straight 

or see what's right and wrong through all the tears?

You think of everything bad,

then you consider just ending it all.

But just stop and think.

Think of the people you will be leaving, 

think of your family that cares,

and the friends you will lose.

You will leave so much,

but what will you gain?

Freedom from the terrible hell we call Earth?

Or maybe the endless torture we hear every day from the mouths of those

who let out their hate and sadness

on you?

No.

You'll be giving in to the terrible thing we call death.

It was never worth it.

And it never will be.