Al Wasillah (In The Footsteps Of The Prophet PBUH)

Forgive to Be Forgiven!

Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

مَا نَقَصَتْ صَدَقَةٌ مِنْ مَالٍ وَمَا زَادَ اللَّهُ عَبْدًا بِعَفْوٍ إِلاَّ عِزًّا وَمَا تَوَاضَعَ أَحَدٌ لِلَّهِ إِلاَّ رَفَعَهُ اللَّهُ

Charity does not decrease wealth, no one forgives except that Allah increases his honor, and no one humbles himself for the sake of Allah except that Allah raises his status.

Source: Sahih Muslim 2588, Grade: Sahih

Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, was upon the pulpit and he said:

ارْحَمُوا تُرْحَمُوا وَاغْفِرُوا يَغْفِرْ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ

Be merciful to others and you will receive mercy. Forgive others and Allah will forgive you.

Source: Musnad Ahmad 7001, Grade: Sahih

It's that time again:
the month of forgiveness, the month of blessings, the month of Ramadhan. We are constantly told that this is the special month in which Allah has invited us to beseech His forgiveness for all of our wrong actions and that we will be forgiven. How awesome is that? We have a whole month to cleanse out our past year of slips and mistakes, and Allah is going to be cool with us! He really is Merciful. It is a shame that we cannot take those qualities into our own lives.

Imagine the feeling of looking at the man who murdered your uncle, who cut out his organs and gave it to someone to eat- and forgiving him. Imagine being abused and taunted, and when given the chance to retaliate, instead you forgive. This was the Messenger of Allah Ta'ala (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam), a man described as "an excellent exemplar for those who hope in Allah and the Last Day" [Quran, Chapter 33, Surat al-Ahzab, 33:21].

Many of us cannot forgive our parents or friends or spouses when they say hurtful things in anger. We hold grudges for years, unable to forget the things people have done to us. On the one hand, we feel justified in feeling this way. After all, we are the ones wronged. On the other, bottling things up inside is unhealthy at the very least, on both a spiritual and psychological level.

It is natural to be upset at someone when they've hurt you. The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) told us that a Muslim is not allowed to break off ties with another Muslim for more than 3 days, recognizing that we need time to cool off. Yet what is unhealthy, and often destructive, is the inability to forgive and move on.

So what does forgiving actually mean?

Forgiving means not carrying a grudge in your heart against that person. Forgiving means that if you were given the chance to retaliate, you would choose not to. Forgiving means not wishing evil, even if secretly, upon the person. It means you can continue to be civil towards them, and that you can even bring yourself to pray for their well-being and guidance.

However, forgiveness does not mean that you cannot learn from the trial. It doesn't mean that the person did not do wrong, nor does it justify what they did. If you trusted someone and they betrayed your trust, forgiveness does not mean that you have to trust them again if they haven't given you reason to. You are able to treat them well, without resentment in your heart, but if you learned something about their character, you should keep that in mind when dealing with them.

So how can we benefit from forgiving others? How can this help us to be productive Muslims?

1. Spiritual productivity: Earning Allah's pleasure
When we are preoccupied with the wrongs others have committed against us, we lose focus of one of the most beautiful ways to get closer to Allah. The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said: