Romeo and Juliet (Book 1) - SS x OC

Chapter 23 - Tortured Hearts

"Under love's heavy burden do I sink." - William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

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CHAPTER 23 - Tortured Hearts

~ R ~

About three hours ago, Renee's first period began, but attending her classes was the farthest thing from her mind right now. It was noontime and she was alone in their dormitory, lying on her bed like she never wanted to get off from it ever again as it was the only thing that provided her comfort and security. Jamila had asked her repeatedly if she was alright before running off to Arithmancy, and she responded by releasing a groan that clearly proved otherwise, making her friend worry.

Renee figured that she must have cried a million tears since last night, unable to forget how Severus uttered those words that struck through her like a knife. When she thought she's had enough of her mourning, tears would once again roll down her cheeks as she just could not forget how hurt she was. Sleep had not come to her for many days now and she felt so tired and miserable that she decided to skip all of her classes for today, and probably tomorrow, or even the day after that.

Renee tried to cease her sobbing and told herself that if she was wise enough, she would get over her stupid crush or whatever it was that she felt for the professor, and get a life of her own. She would get over him, maybe finally fall for Fred who is deserving of all the love in the world, but right there and then she knew that would be impossible because she fucking loved him already.

Damn you, Severus! Why did I ever fall for you?

Part of the reasons why Renee was crying was because of Severus' hurtful words, but the real cause of her agony was his apparent desire to discontinue their 'partnership', which only meant that he hated every moment they spent together since September. She thought that if he really hated her, then he's done a splendid job of hiding it. The bastard.

The way Severus described her recently discovered condition to the headmaster as if she disgusted him was equally heartbreaking; she wondered what the bloody hell happened to his words that said she was beautiful.

Wiping her tears, Renee got up, her hair disheveled, barely wearing anything, and she dug through her trunk to retrieve a well-kept, locked box that she made herself.

"Alohomora," Renee said hoarsely, too tired to use the spell nonverbally.

Inside the box were all of the bits and bobs of everything Severus-related. The picture that they took in the WWGP, which made her cry even more seeing how satisfied they look, the rose he handed to her in the Yule Ball, which was restored through a hardening charm she cast, and all the notes he left for her during their sessions, his spidery handwriting all too painfully familiar for her to see again.

Renee laid them all on her bed while she knelt on the floor and weeped relentlessly; if someone was to see her, they would think that she was a crazed woman praying to some deity.

While drowning herself in a sea of misery, Renee felt so angry at herself, at the universe, at Severus. She had spent months trying to love him in the best possible way she could, yet all that was returned to her was this. Her efforts blew up in her face and she felt pathetic.

The most terrifying thing of all was the thought of having to face him again at Potions class; just by thinking about it made Renee cringe. She knew she would definitely not be able to look at Severus in the eye ever again.

Why would he play with me like this? Why didn't he just shoo me away at the very beginning?

Forlornly, Renee put all of the items back in the box, neatly stacking each note, and put the rose and their picture on top. She knew she still loved Severus too much to even think about disposing the objects so she mentally kicked herself for not having the tenacity to do so.