Wtf is this? (AU SANS X Fem!READER)

CHP1:Fucking-I DON'T NEED THIS SHIT RN!!

(The song is what I was listening to for a good *checks drawn on watch* 25 loops in counting)

Third Person (or me but whatever)

It was a beautifully weird morning on this fine day, except it was not beautiful, nor was it fine...

It was a weird mornin-*clock says 1:35pm*

It was a weird afternoon that da-*story starts tomorrow*

IT WAS A NORMAL FUCKING DAY WHEN (Y/N) WOKE UP IN THE AFTERNOON!!!

And seeing as it was afternoon (Y/n) clearly thought it best to go make some breakfast, no not lunch, breakfast.

Being in the mood she was, (Y/n) decided to throw on a simple NOT SO SIMPLE RAINBOW onesie over her vest top and short shorts of pajarmas, slip into some glittery (F/c) rollerskates and glide through the mansion she lives in.

Her parents do live with her but left the morning before saying something about "Shit going down here that they don't want to deal with" before leaving in the Jet Plane.

Lil'fuckers.

'Despite what they said, nothing's happened so fa-' the (h/c)'s thoughts were interrupted as she started rolling down the stairs, with zero grace to it.

After somehow landing on her feet at the bottom of the steps, wobbling around like Bambi on drugs for a bit, and finally standing up straight.

Instead of doing the smart thing like any other being that almost broke more bones than Evel Knievel did in his lifetime (433 in case you didn't know), you proceed like roll around like a dumb arse till you reached the kitchen.

The rest of the day went quite normal for you, eat breakfast, watch some anime, play a few video games, cry after and during Legend Of The Guardians because of Jack Frost not existing in your world, before side stepping on the stairs with your skates on, brushing teeth and sleep.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

What?

You...you wanted more, I mean...

I could try...?

It is like 00:34 rn, but I don't really need sleep.

Though I can't promise this going to sound not crazy. 

*suddenly held at gunpoint*

OH HOLY SHIT SHEESH OKAY OKAY I GET IT I'LL WRITE MORE THAN JUST 200 WORDS YOU ONE CRAZY SANSING FUCKER LIKE WOAH WOWOWOW YOU NEED TO CHILL MY RAD HOME DOG LIKE WHAT THE WIGGIDY WIGGIDY WACK IS WRONG WITH YOU SKELEY DEPRIVED SOULS OF FANFICTIONS!!!!

*English sigh* Here we go then.

FORTNIGHT TIME SKIP

'Two weeks, it's been TWO FUCKING WEEKS AND NOTHING'S HAPPENED' You scream to your mind in irritation and storm over to the fridge.

While you're having a mental breakdown, let me actually to you about who...you are, hehe.

You are (Y/n)....Chrisk, (Y/n) Chrisk, yeah, let's go with that.

You're about, 18 years old, that way you're legal *wink wink*.

And your parents are rich, you're rich, you're whole family is rich, yeah you're all nice rich but rich nonetheless.

Therefore you live in a fucking huge arse mansion in the middle of the mountains, or to you just a piece of land you're family owns.

Normally when ever your parents felt something bad was going to happen they fled faster than a mexican seeing Donald Trump (Please don't hate me for saying that).

Just like normal, they told you shit was about to go down, packed up and ran away, leaving you there to deal with it.

Usually it begins a day or two after they ran off to a different island, but for some unknown reason it'd already been a fortnight since the fleaing.

Of course you thought this strange, but like any introvert teenager, you just went along with it and awaited the doomed future to arrive.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Is it here y-

 1 WEEK LATER

*BANG* 

*CRASH* 

*SMACK* 

*FLOP* 

*GET DUNKED ON* 

*REKDDDD* 

*DEAD*

"FINALLY!!! THREE WEEKS, THREE FUCKING WEEKING AND I FINALLY HAPPENS!!!!" You scream in rejoice as you leaped around your room like a squirrel monkey who ate too much popping candy.

Grabbing your (f/c) sparkling skates and totally epic oversized XXL zip hoodie thing over your pajama shorts and sports bra (leaving the hoodie unzipped btw), you skate through the paint covered walls (to be explained later) and to basically body slam into the railing before slowly tugging to the top of the stairwell, standing tall.

And then finally, observing what type of disaster you're parents had abandoned you for this time.

It was.....

Really!!

Are you even joking me right now me?!!

You made this poor poor rich girl be forsaken by her parents for three weeks in counting-

For this big arse disaster that was soon to come and came today-

TO MAKE HER FIND A KETCHUP BOTTLE SPILLED ALL OVER THE PERFECTLY CLEAN CARPET!!

"OH HELL TO THE FUCK NO I DID NOT WAIT THREE WEEKS, THREE FUCKING WEEKS FOR THIS DISASTER TO HAPPEN AND THE HIT THAT MADE MY PARENTS RUN AWAY WAS A BOTTLE OF KETCHUP RUINING MY CARPET!! WHEN I FIND THE FU-"

Quick thing to mention but you were walking down the stairs in your skates while saying all this... and fell... again.

*SMACK* 

*CRASH*

*BANG*

*BANG*

*INTO THE ROO-*

*FLOP*

"-CKING ASS HAT THAT THOUGHT IT'S BE A FUN IDEA TO MESS WITH ME WILL BE GETTING A WHEEL TO HEAD, OR SKULL IF I DARE GET THAT FA-"

*SMACK*

Someone had hit you over the head, resulting in you falling face first with your old frenemy, ground-san.

Before you were out fully, you cried out one final sentence.

"Fucking-I DON'T NEED THIS SHIT RN!!"

Bleh-