Wrong Number || BBK

The One With The Secret

When Jinae finally sees Taehyung's face the week after, she wishes she had checked his identity before actually opening the door. It's almost a reflex for her to push it back in his face, but Taehyung is faster. He presses his palm against its wooden surface, his gaze pleading.

'What are you doing here?' her voice is cold, distant.

'I can explain.' he tells her as his chest heaves up and down, an indication that he has just run up the stairs to her flat. He shouldn't be here, his campus is on the other side of town and from his dishevelled appearance and the bag slung carelessly over his shoulder, it can only mean that he has boarded the first train to her neighbourhood as soon as his conference was over. Jinae doesn't know whether she should feel touched or irritated by his presence.

'Explain what?'

'Everything,' he quickly brushes a hand through his brown locks, eyes glittering with a mixture of apprehension and nervousness of being misunderstood. There's some sort of panic in there, as well as the feeling that if he manages to explain himself, if he can convince her that it hadn't been out of mean will, then everything will be fine and they can go back to how they were before.

But that's not how it works. Jinae's been too hurt for too long and she isn't sure how much more she can hold on.

But she nods and lets him in nevertheless, eyes still narrowed as she watches him take a seat on her couch as gingerly as he can, as though one silly mistake might get him thrown out again before he can utter any other apology. She asks him whether he'd like something to drink, but he quietly denies and waits until she settles on the other end of the couch before clearing his throat. He has her attention, for she is waiting for him to say something, anything that might dispel the awkward tension in the air. For once, Jinae is glad that all her housemates are away, for it would've been one heck of an awkward encounter for them to be bustling around casually when the atmosphere is clearly charged with electricity and open wounds.

'So?' she prompts when the silence drags on for what seems to be forever.

Taehyung clears his throat. Plays with his hair. He is nervous, she can tell by the clenched jaw, the tightness at the corner of his eyes.

It takes another long moment. Jinae counts up to ten in her head before he finally opens his mouth and says:

'I'm sorry. I don't have any other excuse. I realized it when Baekhyun told me, but you have to believe me. I didn't mean to forget, I just had so many things going on at the same time–' he breaks off for a minute, shaking his head at his own stupidity. Jinae's cold gaze is enough to chill his blood from its warmth, '–Please Jinae. You know I wouldn't lie to you.'

Her eyes linger on him for a moment. 'I know.'

But she clamps her mouth shut into silence. It is deafening, it's like they've been separated by moving tectonic plates with no means of closing this sudden distance. Jinae can feel the emotion clogging up the back of her throat, but she doesn't know what to say, what to do. Forgiving Taehyung would mean to erase every little thing he's done and bypass all the small mistakes, and Jinae isn't sure whether she can be brave enough to jump into his arms so willfully when she is still reeling from the blood loss of so many open wounds.

'Are you still mad at me?' Taehyung asks, voice breaking at the last two words. It's almost like he's choking back a sob.

Jinae's face doesn't give anything away but her eyes are as cold and as hard as steel, 'I can't say I'm not.' her voice can cut through skin, slicing the air with a sting, 'But you need to talk to me. How am I supposed to know how you're doing if you don't tell me? How am I supposed to be there for you when I don't even know what's going on in your life?'