Star Stable Fanfiction | Equine Activism Mythology Story | Equestrian Mythology

Chapters 1 - 3

CHAPTER ONE DEWDUSK:

Like every life story, it has to start at the beginning. Usually from birth. However, my life- the feeling of really being "alive"- didn't start until I, Avon Westworth, was fourteen years old. I say that because before I even turned fourteen, I felt empty inside and nothing felt real. Color wasn't striking, scent was non-existent, touch felt numb, sound was dull, and everything seemed pointless. There had been multiple times where I wondered if I was dreaming, due to the fact that I had no care and no stimulation or awake-vibe. Sometimes I'd even hurt myself to try to get an idea of what being real feels like. I felt and looked like a dead body, I suppose. I had no real self or substance to who I was. I didn't know who I was. All I knew was that I was awfully pale in a sickly way, and that I seemed depressed. In addition to this, a lot of the time, people would refuse to touch me since I felt cold. I'd also be bullied for looking "dead", even though I couldn't help my odd appearance of the time.

Yet, on most days, people would I claim that I was depressed or suffered with derealization. To which I understood, but didn't agree. I thought about it for a while, but the way I experienced this mental suffering wasn't like how I'd imagine an incurable depression or derealization. I had just always been this way, with no link from anything to trigger it or make me inherit the issue. My doctors even told me that I was fine and just going through a teenage phase. One even told my mother that I was just "emo". Basically, doctors couldn't point down anything wrong with me. However, this odd feeling of feeling not alive soon came to the end after my fourteenth birthday!

Yes, yes, I know this will sound odd. But my lifeless ways slowly went away once I discovered equestrianism (the sport of riding and/or competing equids, or/as well as caring for, owning, and spending time with them). Of course, I always knew that riding horses was a thing. I just never thought it was a sport. I guess you could say I was one of the people who never knew riders put in their own strength or skill to ride. I guess I believed that all riders do is sit on a horse, while the horse does all the work. Yet, can you blame me? I wasn't educated and closest I had ever gotten to a horse was from a faraway view!

Anyway, the more I dwelled my focus on equestrianism, the more alive I became. Touch felt fulfilling, sound became vibrant, scent was intriguing, and color was eye-catching. I looked healthy and felt warm for once, too. I was fascinated, all because of equestrianism. Specifically, all because of the action of riding equids. I was brought to life- I was energized and happy- due to the sport of equids. Riding equids was all I could now think about. But I did start to grow an interest for equids too, as you can expect!

Therefore, I began to devote most of the time I had into researching as much as I could about equestrianism. I even made a bunch of documents about everything I'd ever need, in order to eventually ride and own horses (and other particular equids). My thoughts and plans were now constantly placed on equids and riding them! Overall, equestrianism was always on my mind, regardless of what I was doing. Making it obvious that only within a matter of months, equestrianism would be a passion that wouldn't be just a hobby for me. But instead, a purpose; one of the actual reasons for my existence. It brought me to life, and I knew that I wanted to live my life taking part in it, through riding and owning equids.

But sadly, no matter how badly I wanted to begin taking part in equestrianism, I couldn't since I and my parents lived in a city that was far away from any stable. Except, even if one was close by, riding lessons would be too expensive to attend. Or, if it wasn't too expensive, it was too hectic (once, a riding instructor demanded contracts were signed, and that nobody ever petted the equids). Making me of course begin to whine about how unfair life is. Which caused me to have emotional meltdowns a lot, since I felt trapped.

Yes, maybe it seems overdramatic for me to whine and cry about anything. However, I needed equestrianism. It gave me life. I finally wasn't empty. I was alive! I can't possibly stress this enough. I just needed equestrianism. Riding was my passion. So the fact that I couldn't have my equestrian day-dream, definitely made me have meltdowns. And those crying stages just got worse when people told me I'd never have the life I want, or if I thought about all of the people who are born into privileged, rich lives of equestrianism, and don't deserve it. Except, when I look back at it, I'm glad I was in that time of saddening situation. Otherwise, I wouldn't of realized some very important things.