"Do you have a family?" I was careful to avoid his gaze when I asked, instead focusing on the book in my lap, because I knew that he did have one.
I knew that he had a mother, and younger sisters and brothers, and aunts and uncles and cousins, and a father too even if he wasn't always present.
That's not what I meant.
"Mm? Yeah, I do. I've told you about them before. Ma, and Nathaniel, and..."
Sometimes I wish he'd go ahead and ask "why?" Because I was too afraid to say it myself and maybe that'd be over sharing and I knew he was wondering but he was too patient (and perhaps stubborn) to say so.
"...I swear Denmark, you've got the memory of a goldfish." He flashes me a worried smile.
Shifting the book so he can't see the page, I laugh nervously and shrug it off. In a minute he'll go back to carving whatever animal it is that he's carving, and I'll be back to reading, and we'll be lost in that comfortable rhythm again.
But this time he doesn't let it go.
"Whatcha reading?" He's careful to avoid the direct question.
I tip the book over so he can get a quick glance, but he gently lifts it from my hands and skims the page. He'sa slow reader, but in a minute a smile grows across his face.
"It's a cute book. Very nice. I see why you like it." He sets the book back in my lap, still facing him.
"Do you have any more room?" The words are out of my mouth before I can give them a second thought, so to balance out the awkwardness of the statement I add "like, in your family?"
He raises his eyebrows.
"I-I mean like, um, you'd be cool. As maybe a brother. Yeah. I know you already have a bunch of siblings but-"
"I don't see you as a brother." He says softly.
"Oh...I-I'm so-"
"Shh. No. No, you're closer than that. My companion. My best friend."
That smile again.
"Of course you're family."
"O-ooh. Thanks Matth-"
The book falls off of my lap as he pulls me in a hug. I'm caught at an awkward angle but that's okay, it's okay. It doesnt matter because that hug means the world and he means the world too, it's-
I'm let go and he quickly resumes carving, more for my benefit than his, because he knows I freeze up sometimes when I get too caught up in the moment and freak out, so I grab my book and hide my grin behind it.
Family.
I lean up against Matthew and rest my head on his shoulder. He sighs in contentment and continued his work.
