Insubstantially Me

Chapter 19

The pain in my head built to an almost unbearable level and my muscles cramped with the effort to keep completely still and quiet. I was terrified to even breathe and risk drawing attention to myself.

As the skull-splitting pressure continued to grow, I was grateful for one thing - that it wasn't the sudden, unexpected torture as before. Having it happen gradually like this, allowed me to prepare and keep myself in check. It was still unbelievably painful - more so, in fact, since I had more time to anticipate it. But I was able to cope with it better this way. And I was stubborn enough to keep fighting. I just tried to ignore the feeling that I was about to black out.

It felt like years until the pain started easing away, during which I started wishing, rather than dreading, that I'd pass out. I was vulnerable either way, but if I were unconscious I could get a reprieve from the agony.

I relaxed as the feeling diminished considerably, and I was very grateful that I didn't have time to eat this morning. I would have never been able to hold anything in my stomach. Even if the clothes were something I'd want, I could never afford to pay for them. It was bad enough that I was sweating all over the place.

Wanting to spare the clothes further contamination, I tossed them away, barely finding the strength to do it. And no wonder after that! But now, even thinking of standing and waltzing out of here seemed like a fantasy. Not as if I felt safe to do that anyway, but I was mentally and physically exhausted.

I suppose this was as good a hiding place as any for a while. It was somewhat private, and I wouldn't have to worry about being chased out with a broom. I just hoped that the sales girl wasn't observant enough to start wondering if I stayed here a little longer than the average customer. But why would she? There was no time limit and there were several rooms.

After a few minutes I felt strong enough to push off the floor and crawl onto the bench above me. If I did get caught by an overattentive sales girl, I didn't want to look like a mental patient.

Unfortunately that little bit of effort drained me again. And why shouldn't it? Even with that nap this morning, I was still basically running on fumes. And the adrenaline I used up just now, intensified the feeling of exhaustion by about ten. My head, arms, legs - my whole body felt heavy.

I'll just stay here a while, I told myself, leaning against the wall and yawning. I wasn't going anywhere at the moment anyway.

Just a little while, I thought again, closing my eyes. I'll just rest for a few minutes.

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A loud noise jolted me awake and I tensely popped up, not knowing where I was or what to expect.

I relaxed when looking around for a few seconds, allowed me to remember I was still alone in the fitting room.

Stretching to peer over the curtain, I realized it was almost dark outside. So much for resting for a few minutes. It had been hours. The stiffness in my neck attested to that fact.

How stupid I was! Anything could have happened while I was unconscious. Thankfully nothing had. How had no one come to check on me in so long?

I peeked around the curtain to asses things. There was a different girl, guarding the mouth of the fitting rooms now. She barely glanced at the people coming to try clothes on, but I noticed she scrutinized everyone leaving. Thinking about it now, I suppose the first girl had been the same way. They probably didn't care how long you took in here, so long as you didn't steal anything.

Well, that explained why I'd gone undisturbed for so long, but watching the fair-skinned, red head on duty, alerted me to something else. There was a man trying to get passed her, and she apparently wasn't thrilled about the idea.