I've Lost My Breath With You ~frerard

Chapter Six

Five months have passed, and I'm all alone, I've made a few friends. Mikey Way, Ray Toro and Bob Bryar, they're all pretty cool, but their not like Dr. Way, he finally told me his name on my departure, Gerard. What a beautiful name...

In these five months I haven't eaten much, I work for a small, shitty, record company that's lucky to get even 10 customers a day. While I hate it it's the only place that I love, it has the best records an they're all in good condition, sometimes I take some because I mean, they're all just so amazing! The pay isn't the best but it's enough for me to get a little food and pay my rent. Maybe I'd have more if I didn't spend it all on coffee and cigarettes.

People have suggested me to go back to therapy. I guess the new me is still depressed. I can understand why, it's lonely when your friends are all busy, one has a band, one works for a big company, now bob... Bob always wants to do stuff that involves money, and I don't have any. So the only time I actually see them is about once a month. Other than that I sit at home, smoking away my life.

I can tell you that I've been thinking of suicide again, but who isn't? People say I've been screaming in my sleep, I understand why, I have these terrible dreams of a therapist, a therapist that calls me names, abuses me, and sent me to a mental hospital. Sometimes I wonder if it's actually a dream. Maybe it's my life waving back to me.

"I've told you! Don't you dare come down here!" He hisses. "I was j-just-"

"Just what?! Trying to sneak around huh?!" And just like that, I'm on the floor.

Sometimes I'm curious how my old life was, I don't even know who my parents were, but other times, I know it's a good thing I don't know. I wouldn't have forgotten if it wasn't.

I pull on my t-shirt, everything has gotten big on me but I can't afford new clothing. It's plain white surrounding one big picture that has Brand New on it, their eyes have a black line on it that says "we're only human." It means a lot to me. People idolize so many things. But in the end were all just animals. Living things.

Today I actually have somewhere to go, the doctors, not too exciting but at least I get to skip work and still get my weekly pay. Afterwards I go to my usual coffee shop. I guess you could say I've developed a pattern in my life. And you'd be right.

And ask me what it's like to have myself so figured out, I wish I new.

I don't know anything about myself anymore, I don't know what color I like, I don't know why I want tattoos so badly, I don't know my sexuality, I don't know why I wanted to kill myself before I lost my memory, I know why I want to know. I hate myself and my life. I'm alone, all I want is someone to love. And the only person on my mind is Gerard. I haven't seen him in five months. In that time I could've forgotten and found someone. Why does the earth attract me to him.

As I check the time I see I'm going to be late so I slip on my shoes and go, my jeans aren't washed and my hair isn't brushed but that doesn't matter. I have no one to look good for.

When I get there I'm greeted by the flirt at the reception desk, Samantha. "Well hello Frank, and what brings you to my presences?"

"I have an appointment for a shot." I answer plainly. Samantha sets me up and nods before saying with a wink, "It was a pleasure seeing you, Frank." I nod and sit down, soon my name is called.

I walk to the coffee shop in the cold winter air. I miss the spring, hell I even miss the fall, something warmer than this since I don't have enough money to get something better than my skimpy, thin jacket. But as I got close to the café, I stopped for a smoke.

Entering the shop gave me such a rush of happiness, warmth enveloped me into the shop and I quickly ordered my coffee and sat alone by the window. As people came and left I kept my head down. The shop was going to close soon and I had to get home so I got up, but as I went to the door someone entered that made me stop in my tracks

Gerard...

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Hey guys! So how was that chapter? Little better in length huh? Well, please comment and vote, I haven't gotten any replies on if I should write a sequel or not... So guys, I know you can do it I gave you two updates in two days!