Merlin: The Depth of Secrets

5- The Semicircle

Gwaine was the first to reach Merlin. He found him sitting with his knees to his chest. Shaking as tears slid down his face. He had his hands pushed hard over his ears and his eyes were scrunched up so tight it must have been painful. Lancelot was the next to reach them and then the rest of the knights soon after with Arthur.  They all locked eyes with each other once before staring back down at the raven haired boy before them. Gwaine sat down with his legs crossed in front of Merlin. 

"Merlin... I'm going to take your hands off your ears, okay." Gwaine said.

There was no response so Gwaine slowly reached out his hands towards Merlin's When they made contact Merlin flinched back so hard he hit his head against the tree. Gwaine kept his hold on Merlin's hands though. He very carefully brought Merlin's hands away from his ears and kept hold of them. 

Merlin only acknowledged the advancement by tensing up and pushing himself back against the tree. 

Gwaine shushed Merlin a bit and tried to get him to calm down. But this was to no avail. The rest of the knights and Arthur sat a few feet behind the pair making a semicircle around them. 

Lancelot began to speak softly to Merlin while Gwaine still sat holding Merlin's hands in his.

"Hey Merlin. This is Lancelot speaking right now. I'm not really sure if you can decipher these things so uh ya. But yesterday you uh passed out while we were hunting so we set up camp and you were shaking and this morning you started mumbling and crying and shaking more. And then you woke up and I guess here we are now. We uh don't know what is going on but we're here. And you're safe. So uh ya..."

Lancelot stopped speaking and looked from the ground to Merlin. He was still tense, crying, and shaking but he seemed to have heard. 

After a few moments of no one speaking, they heard Merlin take a deep breath. They look to him and saw he had untensed a tiny bit. He was still pressing himself towards the tree but it was a  small success. Merlin then slowly opened his eyes and looked around at his friends sitting around him and Gwaine. He made eye contact with a few of them and they all smiled softly. When he made eye contact with Gwaine, he brought his hands away from Gwaine's and clasped them in front of his knees holding his knees to his chest. Merlin then looked at the ground which had became very intriguing. 

Arthur then cleared his throat which made Merlin tightly shut his eyes and flinch back again. He kept his eyes closed but let himself relax a bit. Arthur then spoke whilst eyeing Merlin with concern. "So uhm I'm not sure what just happened or why any of it happened but uhm ya. I hope that you are good now?" He ended his sentence with what wasn't supposed to be a question." 

Then to all there surprise Merlin spoke quietly and they had to strain to hear him, "Uhm ya I guess so...." His voice had shaken through the whole sentence.

Leon then spoke, "C'mon Merlin. I may not be one of the people here closest to you but even I can tell that you are still not alright..."

Merlin sighed. And they all figured he had hoped they would believe him. Merlin replied," Well I guess you're correct..." Merlin was still tense but the shaking had died away.

None of them really knew what to do now. They weren't sure if they should press for more information or if they should leave it be. So they all just sat there picking at the ground.

It had been maybe half an hour of them all doing nothing when Merlin was about to let his knees fall away from his chest and into a crossed over each other position. But then as he was shifting his eyes widened, his knees pulled back to his chest again, his hands went back over his ears and he pressed himself back up against the tree. This time after he started shaking he started to repeat the word 'no' over and over again and a few tears slid out of his eyes. His eyes slammed closed and he started shaking his head. 

The knights and Arthur were now completely concerned again and frightened for their friend.

________________Merlin perspective again_______________________

I was just getting into a comfier position when the scenes and noises and screaming came back. There seemed to be no escape. In the scenes everything happened again. Arthur ran me though with a sword. My friends burned me alive. They sentenced me to drowning in one of the wells. They pushed me over buildings. They blamed me. Everything was happening. And no longer was I sitting in the middle of my friends awkwardly. No. I was experiencing all of these things. I can't breathe. The smoke is blinding me. I need to escape. I need to escape. I need to escape. I need to escape. I need to escape.

________________________________________________

Everyone around Merlin look on in concern and horror as Merlin relapsed back into whatever it was.  The same thought pushed through into everyone's mind. He was just beginning to calm down. Everything went so well. What went wrong? Yet no one could find an answer. 

Gwaine tried to remove Merlin's hands from his ears again but this time instead of just flinching and letting his friend help, Merlin pushed himself farther back against the tree and struggled against Gwaine.  Gwaine paused for a moment before trying again to take Merlin's hands in his own and away from his ears. Merlin struggled and flinched away the whole time but eventually Gwaine got Merlin's hands away from his ears.  Merlin was still continuously repeating no and some of the repeats slurred together at the rate he was saying it.  

A few seconds later, Merlin's eyes shot open and again he looked terrified. He was no longer mumbling. Yet he was shaking. He looked around at the knights and at Arthur. He saw none of them had had weapons except for small hunting knives on their belts.  He saw Gwaine was holding onto his hand and looking right at him with concern. Merlin opened his mouth to say something but he didn't know what. He could never explain what happened.