Beautiful Pain

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every time it starts it's subtle then hits me like a psychotic wrecking ball, causing my insecurities to expose themselves and begin to flourish in a world they are supposed to be banned from. All kind of dark thoughts flow through my mind, I begin to ponder the importance of my existence, the likeliness of a better life in the near future, the things that used to make me happy sadden me because I cant take part in the joy of doing my art or watch it turn into the beautiful thing ive anticipated it to become ever since it born,  i don't want to go or be anywhere , I would rather  not even be (exist) But even in my in this storm i constantly i have to keep my compusure amoung my advercaries , but its hard when your enemies live near, and have the key to heart and in matter of fact manufactured the key .  taught you how to use and how to hide it away.

All in all, pain is beautiful, pain feels good, pain is comfortable,  pain made me who I am