BTS Yoongi - Nocturne

O - Is This What We Stand For?

 "It's been five years."

I say, looking at the small cake in front of me.

"Make a wish, Y/N."

The candles that spell out 17, are soon blown out.

I take a moment to myself, thinking of what he could be doing right now. 

Sometimes, I wonder if he thinks about me as well. After all, I wouldn't blame him if he forgot me. It's been so long. 

I look around at my family members and try my hardest to show a sincere smile, but as my Mother fills my vision, it disappears. 

She glares from a distance.

Ever since Yoongi's been gone, Mother has been colder than before. 

Father recently has been very kind to let me stay in his room at night when Mother is not home, and sometimes I find it strange, but I know father would never hurt me. Even when he touches me in my sleep, it's okay. 

It's not like I can do anything to stop him anyways, otherwise he would tell Mother.

Everyone at school says I'm too innocent to live with such a family, but what do they care?

Nobody is here to protect me anymore.

Though Father speaks of divorcing Mother, he has never said a word of these thoughts.

I smile one last time, before everyone returns to their vehicles, driving safely home. Life may seem odd for me, but I know others have it worse. 

As the party comes to an end, Mother sighs and stares at me.

"I'll clean today."

That's different. 

Mother almost never helps me.

I stare at her in confusion, but suddenly, a smile appears on my face. Not a fake one, but a real smile.

Mother smiles back and begins to throw away plastic cups and paper plates.

I rush to my room, grabbing my phone from my desk.

Sometimes I wish I had Yoongi's new number, so we could talk to each other again. 

Even though, I only have his previous number, I still send messages to it each day. Almost like a digital letter.

I think to myself for a moment, before knowing what to write.

TO: MIN YOONGI (phone number)

---

HELLO YOONGI, IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE WE'VE SEEN EACH OTHER, HASN'T IT? TODAY WAS MY 17TH BIRTHDAY, AND YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE WHO WAS HERE TODAY. REMEMBER YOUR OLD CRUSH LISA? SHE AND HER MOTHER CAME BY, AND HELPED WITH THE DECORATIONS. HOSEOK AND HIS FRIEND NAMJOON CAME OVER AS WELL. IT WAS SO NICE TO SEE EVERYONE AGAIN. I MISS YOU SO MUCH, AND I HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN SOON, WHEREVER YOU ARE. PLEASE DON'T EVER FORGET ME. LOVE YOU <3

I smile.

Sometimes, it's really hard without Yoongi here. 

Especially when I need help with homework assignments.

I giggle lightly, and place my phone back onto the desk. 

As soon as I turn 18, I'm going to find Min Yoongi, and I'm going to give him the biggest hug. 

Suddenly, Mother enters the room.

"Y/N, we to talk."