GIRLS LIKE GIRLS

chapter seventeen.

june 17, 1989. thursday.

   CASS WATCHED THE CLOCK ON her wall for an hour. she stopped at exactly midnight. it was her fourteenth birthday. she sighed and laid back onto her bed, the covers thrown to the side.

exactly one year ago her mother and father were caught. exactly one year since she started living at her nurse izzys home. exactly one year ago her life changed.

[for the better.]

cass brought her left hand to her right wrist and ran her fingers over the bandaid covering her fresh cut marks on her wrist. the thought of her birthday was too much.

why couldn't she just forget?

she wiped a tear from the side of her cheek, only aware of its presence when it almost reached her chin.

she wanted beverly.

why didn't bev stay with her tonight?

she picked up the phone on her bedside table, but put it down right after. as much as she wanted to call, she couldn't. al marsh would get angry. he would hurt bev, and cass didn't want to be responsible for that.

she laid there a while longer before a voice started whispering from her closet. no, singing.

"happy birthday to you... happy birthday to you. happy birthday dear cassieeeee. happy birthday to you." her closet creaked open slowly, and cass sat up on her bed, curling her knees to her chest.

"no. no, please! no." she whispered, covering her face. she peaked out from behind her hands, trying to force her legs over the side of her bed, but she couldn't. she couldn't move. she was paralyzed. a balloon floated slowly towards her from her closet, and she shrieked, scooting towards her wall. it slowly turned, and on it had white words.

white words that read, welcome back to the asylum, we all float in here.

cass screamed, she screamed so loud that it didn't sound like it was coming from her. she kept screaming, unable to stop. she heard footsteps running towards her room, and then her bedroom door opening. the balloon exploded, and she screamed even louder, tears streaming down her face.

"happy birthday cassie." the voice whispered once more, and the words were followed with childrens laughter. cass felt herself being picked up and cradled into someones arms, but her eyes were closed so tight, the screams still leaving her lips, and she couldn't see who was holding her. soon the screams lessened into loud sobs, her throat raw, making her think back to when patrick... her thoughts stopped there. she couldn't think about it. she wouldn't let herself. she heard her aunt and uncle screaming at her, asking her what was wrong as her thoughts finally focused. she opened her eyes and realized it was danny holding her.

"cass! cass whats wrong? what happened honey?" her aunt was sobbing at that point, and cass composed her tears enough to answer her aunt.

"it was- it was a bad dream. i-i just thought back to w-when my mom... and- and my dad..." cass trailed off. "it was a nightmare. it was just a nightmare." her aunt and uncle nodded, her aunt pressing a kiss to her head.

"are you sure you're okay?" her uncle asked, and cass nodded, danny still holding her.

"goodnight, honey. we love you." her aunt ruffled her hair softly and cass nodded, muttering a small 'love you too' as they walked out the door.

"cut the bullshit, cass."

"what do you mean?" danny ran his finger over the scar on her cheek and she winced.

"i mean that this isn't only about your mom and dad. its about patrick." cass sighed and closed her eyes.

"listen, danny, i'm seriously okay-"