Edit My Love

Chapter 10

All of me was shaking. The one good thing I had was about to walk away from me, and I didn't know how I could save things. It was still so early in the morning, and I wanted to go back to bed and hide under the covers. I searching the grass at my feet as if that would help me solve this problem I so wonderfully got myself caught up in. It's not that I didn't let Lucifer touch my shoulder that hurt him, it was my tone of voice and the fact that I yelled at him.

Lucifer walked around to crouch in front of me. "Junie, I can't keep going back and forth like this." 

"I know. I know. I hate it too."

"Jun, you say you hate it, but you're the one that starts all of the fights!"

"I know! Do you think I want to! I hate it just as much as you. I hate yelling and feeling like I disappointed you." I could feel my hands shaking. I threw the blanket off my shoulders and began pacing around the yard. "I just, I don't know. I panicked in there. I've never had a guy friend, and I've certainly never slept with anyone--"

"We didn't sleep together." 

"No, we didn't have sex, but technically we were both sleeping, and if I remember correctly your arm was holding me up against you." I faced him with my hands on my hips. "This is new for my parents, and it's new for me. I didn't know how to act."

"Do think I know any better!"

"You went to a public school. Surely, you've dated before." He didn't disagree. "I don't want to know the details, but this is a first for me and I don't know how to feel or act, so I'm sorry I overreacted."

Lucifer crossed his arms, guarding himself. "Yeah, you did, but you do that a lot." He watched me for a minute. When I didn't say anything, he said, "I can't keep doing this."

I wrapped my arms around my waist, hugging myself. "I know." I grabbed the blanket and walked to the door. Before I went inside I turned to Lucifer and said, "I'll see you next Wednesday."

The next week was the most dreadful week. I hid under my blankets and barely left my room. In my spare time, after I had finished all of my school work, I would read. I went through about four books before I was back at TLC on Wednesday. I kept my head ducked low and returned to my place in the kitchen. 

I was picking out of a bag of lays chips when mom walked into the kitchen. I had avoided talking with her for the past week. I knew she felt partially guilty for the argument between Lucifer and I, but I was too prideful to confront the issue with her. I had an idea of what she would say, and I didn't want to hear it.

Instead of saying the issue straight on, she said, "I'm glad to see you're eating today."

"I eat," I said as I stuffed a handful of chips into my mouth.

She laughed. "Yes. You do." She walked closer to me. "Jun, what happened between you and Lucie?"

"Nothing. We just had an argument. Nothing unusual for us." I shrugged my shoulders.

"No, but it unusual for you to have such a one hit wonder relationship with someone."

I tapped my fingers on the counter. "I have a best friend," I said at last. 

"Yeah, but you were also good friends with Lucie."

"Look, Mom, nothing happened. I have to go to class now." 

Just as I was slipping out the door, mom said, "Well, something important must have happened because Jenna said he quit doing school, saying he had a new excuse everyday for it."

I shook my head. That couldn't be right. Lucifer was determined to make his mom happy. One argument between us couldn't hurt that. No, I didn't believe mom. She was just saying that so I would talk to Lucifer again. However, that was never going to happen. I had lived my life just fine without him, I would do it again. Although, there was that voice in the back of my head telling me life was sweeter with Lucifer in it.