Emotionless

do I feel anything? (Andrea's P.O.V.)

Whole conversation he was or joking or serious af.I can't understand him , does he like me or not?Does he feel any regret about what he did , because It doesn't look like that? Is he like me?Then I left.

I was driving my car trough the whole little town , imagining how my life would be If i start letting myself to feel emotions again.I stopped feeling any emotions on my 18 birthday...and nw i am 20.

-flashback-

All of my friends were there , music was great , but one person that I loved the most isn't there , my brother.After three hours , police called my mom,she answered.Mom started crying and she told me that my brother's plane fall to the ground and that he died on the way to hospital.He was pilot , and he was making me surprise , so I can fly with him , but didn't ended up well.That night was worst night in my life.Everyone left the party , I got drunk af that night.The other day I just didn't feel sad, in pain or anything at all..

-end of flashback-

I got home and did my routine like every other day,change my outfit,eat something and watch crime shows.But this day something was diffrent.It was like you have a crush after awhile,but do I have a crush?Chris is so hot and a bad guy like I always wanted , but he will go to prison and that's how lucky I am. - knock knock- I heard. I opened the door and that was my friend Sarah.She brought beer and I had wine so that's the last thing i remember.

08.00am My alarm is beeping , BUT I WANT TO FUCKING SLEEP.But nah , I needed to get up , dress up and of course do my make up, 'cause I had to go and talk with my client , his trial is going to be soon.I push myself to work as best as I could , cause I want him out soon.I got into my car and get there.He was in the same room as he was yesterday.I sat on the other side of the table and start asking him the same questions as yesterday.His voice wasn't as cold as yesterday , it was sweet actually.

" Why are you doing this?Why are you helping me?" he shouted.

I was confused af , so I just said : "I think you been trought a lot of things and I don't think you deserve to be behind bars."

"Oh you are thinking wrong,If somebody deserve to be in prison , that's some people who don't feel regret or feel sad at all,so that's me.I am psycho."

Wait,what?He is like me? I just stand up and ..He stand up too.He put his arms above my stomach and he was looking me in eyes and said:

"Why are your eyes so cold?"

"They are just like your's" I said .

He kissed me and I didn't run away,I kissed him back.It felt like I am in heaven , but I was far away from that.Then he said seriously :

" I like you , but I don't think you like me , so don't mind my kiss then."

" I don't like anybody , but closest to that is you,so I mind your kiss , like It was my first." i whispered.

I took my bag and left the police station.I bought food at Burger King for the first time in my life and I felt great , like I wasn't in long time.Then I came home.I was looking trought the old stuff,so I found album with a lot of photos.There was little me and my brother,looking so happy.He was 3 years older than me and It was his 8 birthday on that photo.I was in lila dress and I had pink eyeshadow.Now I am wearing all fucking black.On the other photos there were my mom and dad holding him,David,my brother.My dad left us when I were 2 years so I don't remember him.Then I found a photo where I was in the pool and my brother was out because of his broken arm he had back then.He broke his arm because of me,I was riding bicycle and I was falling down , so he hold a bike do I don't fall and bike fell to his left arm.

I felt something on my cheeks , water. Why are my eyes  watering?