Confused (Matthew Espinosa)

Chapter 9

I felt.. I don't know how I felt actually. My body was exploding from excitement. My head was saying stop, it's wrong. My heart was saying that this was the moment I was waiting for. This rush of glory and amazement. My shirt was riding up slowly and his hands were on the sides of my face.

My hands wanted so bad to unbuckle his beige pants, but I didn't know if that was what I was supposed to do. I was never on a situation like this, so I kept my hands on his his chest as he towered over me. I felt awkward yet thrilled. Shouldn't we be on the bed? Or, was this more romantic.

It was starting to get sort chilly, and out of nowhere, I started gagging a little, more like coughing really. I took my hands off his chest and wrapped them around my neck. I could barely breathe. Everything was looking fuzzy. What was happening? Did I have some kind of secret asthma? He immediately stopped as I pushed him away. He asked me what was wrong but I couldn't respond. He ran towards the kitchen and came back a few seconds later with a bowl of water and threw it at my face..

I squirmed in the water, gasping for air.

I could taste bubble soap in my mouth. I pulled my self out of the bath, choking on water. I sat there for a while, naked, breathing hard and trying to make sense of what just happened. I grabbed a robe and headed to my room I checked my phone. 4:18am.

That could not have been a dream.. It felt so real. I had the butterflies still in my stomach, as if trying to convince me that it was. I felt so embarrassed, even though he probably has no clue I exist anymore. He probably already forgot about me.. I closed my eyes and laid down. I have an audition at 5 later and I wanted to be prepared. I sighed and got up.

I took a shower, then I went into the small kitchen and grabbed a frozen pizza, cutting only a slice off and putting the rest back in the mini fridge. I hardly had anything in there. I didn't want to by a whole bunch of food because I wanted save my money for emergencies and stuff. I had milk, cereal, that pizza, some cheap, Great Value Popsicles, a 24-pk of Great Value Water, and a few random fruits. I didn't eat here much anyways, I always got free food at In&Out because the manager had a thing for me. Not like I had a thing for him too, but it was nice to have a connection for food, I always saved some of what he gave for a later time. Plus In&Out had lots of business, so it was always busy. It was also really easy to steal food and stuff. I got paid nice, or for me at least it was. I got about $400-$500 every two weeks. I worked a lot when I could, and my parents gave me $500 each month, plus the money I started off with when I came here, which was $500.

I ate my piece of pizza and grabbed a water and headed back to sleep for a while, getting cozy in my soft sheets and pillows.

I woke up around 11. I went to the closet and searched for some clothes for the audition. I chose a simple no-sleeve, white crop top, a dark floral skater skirt, a peach colored cardigan, and white plain flats. I folded the clothes nicely and placed the shoes in a plastic bag and put my items in my drawstring backpack. I got dressed, ready for work and started on my hair. I curled it then put some spray in it so it would stay! Then I tied it up in a lose ponytail. I ate some cereal with milk then left at around 12:30.

I was walking so I didn't get there until around 12:50. I went inside and placed my bag where I always do, in the managers office. I checked in and got ready to start my shift at 1.

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At 4:00 I checked out. I walked out of the restaurant with my backpack and went into a near by store. I went into the bathroom and change, like I always did and walked out feeling kind of cute. I let my hair down and folded my clothes, putting them in the backpack. I pulled out a small fruity perfume and sprayed it on my neck and arms. I put it back in the backpack and stepped out of the stall. I checked my hair and started on my makeup, trying to make it look as natural as possible.

I walked out and waited for a taxi. I guess I was all dolled up, an old taxi man drove up. I got in.

"Where to little lady?" He said, turning to me.

"Uh, this address, please." I said, handing him a sheet of paper and smiling. He grabbed it and smirked.

When we arrived, it was clear to see I was early.

"Thanks." I handed him 10 bucks and got out. I knew I could walked here, but I really didn't want to sweat in this outfit. He pulled out and left me on the side walk. I swallowed and checked the time on my phone. 4:45. Yup, definitely early. I walked in and saw a bunch of girls and boys already preparing. This was a cold audition, so no scripts, which made me nervous, but I was kind of glad because I didn't have to be afraid if I forgot a line or something. This audition was a little odd because it was first come first served. I was told to leave my number on a piece of paper and they handed me a torn post it that said '69'

I sat in one of the last few open chairs and waited.

About a half hour later auditions started. I sighed and sat back, waiting for my turn. Out of no where, a girl came to my side and sat next to me.

"Hi! I'm Natalie Violet Portman. No, I'm not trying to be Natalie Portman. Yes it's my real name and yes I love her! I want to be just as famous!"

I smiled. "Hey, I'm Elise, but you can call me Elly. Elly Rubios. I come from the hot, sunny, and sometimes cold Texas. I like the beach though I've never been before. Maybe one day I will?" I said.

"You've never been? I have to take you someday, if you want. Oh! We could go-"

"32, 33, 34" a black man said, poking his body out the door that led to the audition rooms. He looked casual yet professional.

"Oh! I'm 33! Bye!" And with that, she got up and left.

"Good luck Nat!" I said, hoping she would here me. She turned head slightly, enough for me to see her grin.

34, 38, 41, 50... The numbers kept coming and coming. I hadn't seen Natalie come out. Actually, hadn't seen anybody come out. I waited patiently..

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When I walked out of the audition room, I felt really confident. I felt like I was really going to get that part.

When I walked out of the building I was calling my mom to tell her about the news when I heard a familiar voice behind me say, "Hey Elly, it's a shame you already forgot about me.."