Playing Criminal

48- Ready to Deal?

**

“Get up.”

“No,” I mumbled into my pillow, my hidden face still raw and puffy from tears.

“I’ve given you two days to lay here. You need to eat, you need to shower, stretch your legs... It’s time to come back to the world of the living.”

“No.” I stated, more forcefully this time as I clutched the blankets around me into my fist.

There was a sigh and a moment later, someone took hold of both my wrists, twisting me over so that now I saw I was lying face to face with Derek.

“Leave me alone,” I said in a deadened voice.

“I need you.”

“Then you shouldn’t have killed one of my best friends in front of me.”

I cringed; trying to block away the tears I felt pooling up in the corners of my eyes.

Words from the note Aiden had stuffed into my hand played in front of my eyes.

Dear Ally,

I’m  sorry. I never imagined it would come to this, that things would be this way. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to turn you in. I love you. But, I have responsibilities that make it impossible for me to act selfish. I know the gang doesn’t have a lot of time. Spies are everywhere. Derek called me in for a meeting (as I’m sure you know) and I don’t know how much longer I’ll be around. But if anything happens I want you to know that I’m sorry. I never should have forced you. It was your decision to turn yourself in or not. But, believe me the last thing I ever wanted to see was you getting hurt. I may have seemed like a jerk at times – I’m usually distant to people I care about, which is why I didn’t know how much you actually meant to me before all this crap started. Now I know you don’t feel the same way, but that’s okay. I hurt you, so how could you? Even so though, I want you to stick up for me if anything happens. When you get a chance, go back to my family. Find them and tell them what happened. I’ve hurt a lot more people than you and I want to try and make at least something right before I get taken out. And if that’s too much for you to do right now that’s okay too. I just hope that somehow, someday you’ll see that I meant well by you no matter how much I fucked everything up. Ally you are the most brave, intelligent and beautiful woman I’ve ever met. I may have screwed around a bunch, but even I’m not stupid enough to be blind to how incredible you are. I know that whatever happens you’ll be okay. You’re tough- tougher than everyone I’ve ever met and you’re going to make it. So keep going. Stay strong. Help the gang if you can, but always help yourself first – you deserve at least that. I wish that I could be there for you right now to hold you and love you, to try and keep yourself safe. But deep down I know that there’s nothing I can do. You don’t need me and that’s okay. But no matter what happens, no matter how much more shit you’re forced to deal with, you’ll be okay and I hope above everything that you are happy with the life you choose to live. I care about you, always.

Love,

Aiden.

I felt tears begin to well in my eyes, and quickly wiped them away, aware that Derek was scrutinizing my face.

“I need you to deal tomorrow.”

“What?” I looked up at Derek in shock, eyes wide

He couldn’t be serious. I mean I’d practically been in a coma since Aiden was shot. How could I be expected to perform a deal?

“We’ll do prep and planning today so get dressed. I’ll be back in five.” He left before I could ask any questions or make any vocal protestations.