A Book Of Poems

Another One

Another one
In the course of a few months
Many moons and starry skies
The sun was bright as a new day dawned in the church
Until *buzz buzz*
The phone shaking
"Can we talk?"
Oh no
Not again
Not you
This stressor i cannot bear
I respond a neutral answer
To try to hide my pain
But there go those words
"I want to break up"
Suddenly
Haphazardly
My lip quaking
Eyes watering
Diaphragm shaking
*smack* as the phone hits the floor
It all comes back
Memories from the past
The trauma
The torture
All i thought gone
"We were growing apart"
No, you set yourself apart
I spent many a night
Dreaming
Praying
Wishing
Hoping
For a future together with you
Because you showed me light after being drenched in darkness for so long
But you
Aching
Breaking
Imploding
For many moons
Because you were "forcing yourself" to do something you never had to do.
You never opened your mouth
When it all started
It could have been fixed
Even though it never seemed broken
Now i lie in wait of the day we can talk face to face
Voice to voice
No screen between us
But water forms in my heavy eyes
And mucus come out my nose
So thin so swift
That it feels like blood
A shower doesnt help
And letting others know the details makes me break more
All because you thought your chore
Was to keep me happy
Before you were gratified
And desires spoken
But now i quote
"I still want to be friends"
What a lie
A few months at best i give this
Until we hate each other again
But I could never hate you again
After you saved me from my own demented thoughts
After the dates
The hugs
The kisses
The love
And before you said goodbye
You gave a parting kiss
That still lingers on my lips
Those rings that said
"I'll be the best"
And
"I'll love you to the end"
Now my finger is bare
As a newborn child
Covered in viscera and blood
As the covenant you made
Destroyed by a flame
That died by itself
But i sit here
In the dark
Thinking
What did I do wrong?
Its out of my control
And from this
A lesson so bold
Daring
To be learned in every new life
Men are shit unless they change that themselves