incomplet

angst

I have been reduced to my simplest form.

Pardon my angst. I am writing, writing in a way that some might not understand but I am also allowed to be vulnerable. It is my go to through confusion; I can get it all out with still maintaining my own shroud. Maybe someone will see this and understand and help, but for now this is my crutch.

How do I stop hurting people? I ruin with reckless abandon, I don't think before I act. I am so flawed. Beyond my own control, I find myself with demon-like structure hell bent on destroying my best. I cannot accept friends. I cannot accept relationships. I cannot accept gifts in my life. I turn it away passively or by force.

They say you let dust settle before playing in it again. How long, then, will my dust storm remain? I am eager to jump back in; at the same time,

There is a good and a bad to everyone; what we choose to accept is to our own discretion. I accept many things; I am in love with people. Can I not show that same love to myself? Am I rejecting myself?

Will you see this?

Pardon my angst, but I am writing again. I said I would find a way to figure out my own anger, perhaps this time I've found it. They say you let dust settle before going through it again. But when I see us- metaphorically speaking-

There are two sides to every argument. Maybe this can serve as a better apology than I'm sorry.