Remember When

[2]

kissing

Of course I remember the kissing. If I didn't, what kind of person would I be? Because, oh my God, we kissed a lot. If neither of us were doing anything, there was a high chance that we were spending our time kissing. I'm almost certain you even called it a hobby once. We've had numerous conversations about kissing that just ultimately ended up in us kissing.

We were never really foreign to kissing each other before we were dating. We kissed each other's hands mockingly a lot, but one way that we did show affection to each other when we were just friends was by kissing each other's foreheads or cheeks. It became a way for us to comfort the other, and we somehow never found it awkward, unlike most things in our relationship.

If I remember any kiss more than the majority, it would have to be our first kiss. There is supposed to be something so undeniably special about a first kiss that makes you remember it forever, but I don't remember because it was special. I remember because of how painfully awkward it was for the both of us. I almost don't even acknowledge it as our first kiss, but it technically was.

I was going to the community college while you were going to the university on the other side of town. The only friends I really had in college were ones from high school, and even then it was only about five people. You, however, were involved in about every club you could be and everyone knew you. You would get invited to almost every party, and you always brought me along. I was so desperate to spend time with you that I would've gone anywhere with you. Unfortunately that included sweaty, drunk college parties hosted by either a jock-ish fraternity or preppy sorority.

You dragged me along to a party one night where a group of students pulled us down to play Truth or Dare. Everyone was drunk, except you really. I wasn't too wasted, just enough to think that drunk Truth or Dare was a good idea. I was also too drunk to realize that when you kissed me it was genuine. 

As I said, everyone was super drunk and no one was really up for making original dares. They were all something stupid like strip tease a piece of clothing or take a shot. Yours, on the other hand, was, "I dare you to kiss the most attractive person in the room." You wasted absolutely no time to turn and kiss me. Once I was sober again, I started making excuses - oh, you just didn't want to kiss anyone else, you were more comfortable kissing me. 

When we met at the coffee shop the next morning, you didn't say anything as we waited on our coffee, but you kept glancing at me until I leaned against a wall and started saying, "So, last night -" but you kissed me before I could finish asking about the first one

"Is that okay?" You muttered after a short time, and all I could do in response was nod my head and pull you down to kiss me again. I definitely didn't think that some friendship I made in a cafe by talking about dropping out of college would turn into an almost four year relationship.

I can remember all the times we would cuddle on the couch in my dorm and then later the one in our own apartment. Every once in awhile you would lean down and kiss me on either the forehead or lips, and if I asked what it was for, you'd always answer with a quiet 'nothing'. Except for once when you just squeezed me tighter and buried your face in my hair while muttering, "I'm just making sure you're still here."

Of course we weren't all fluff. I will never forget your mother's face when she saw a hickey on your neck. She actually looked like she was about to ground you. That was one fun Christmas dinner. You would always get mad over them, but the fact that you would always argue with a smirk on your face made it seem like the exact opposite.

When we first got our apartment, I can still remember you grabbing my collar to kiss me as soon as we had moved everything in. I was so surprised that I almost didn't kiss you back at first until I stumbled over the couch. I fell away from you, laughing as you hovered slightly over me, laughing as well. You pushed your way on to the couch next to me, kissing me on the neck quickly. I raked my fingers through your hair a few times, eventually picking your head up to connect our lips. You hands laid at my hips as I continued to twist my hands in your hair. 

You used to wake me up by kissing my cheeks or jaw if I was restless enough. If you were still awake when I went to sleep, you could tell when I was having a nightmare. Instead of shaking me awake like most people, you would either kiss me or try to calm me down by smoothing my hair. I can't believe that I will never wake up that way again.