"Broken" | Ryden

Chapter One

"And you'll never be interested in that?" he asked, biting his lip.

Brendon shook his head. "No... But I could probably help you with, you know." Although he honestly doesn't want to, this is the most he would be willing to offer.

"No, it's..." Brendon's boyfriend suddenly sighed. His green eyes, the ones that made him feel at home, don't look so reassuring. He looked into Brendon's eyes, "It's not you, it's me."

It's the worst breakup line Brendon has heard of, and he's heard quite a few. Because there's no pretending that this isn't Brendon's fault; this wouldn't happen if he could just be like everyone else and be normal.

"Really?" Brendon asked bitterly, pretending to play along.

"I have needs," his boyfriend (which seems like a term he can't use anymore) explained. "I don't think it'll work out between us in the long run."

He's honest, which is something Brendon's grateful for. He's had it with people who tell him it's okay with them but really mean otherwise. It causes him more pain if they drag it out like that instead of pulling off the bandaid.

"I understand," Brendon told him, mustering a smile. "No hard feelings?"

"No hard feelings," his newest ex confirmed, nodding to himself. But it doesn't matter because Brendon's been in this cycle of exchanging lovers left and right for a while; he knows how this works. They break up, and any friendship he had with them before is practically erased.

The boy left him alone after that, going back home. Brendon wanted to turn him around and tell him he's sorry. He's sorry that his heart has been broken yet again by not being enough.

Brendon will never be enough.

---

It's not much of a surprise to his friends that he has been dumped again. They're never aware of why this happened, but they know better than anyone else that any relationship Brendon's in doesn't last.

They still asked though.

"What happened?"

And Brendon used the same answer he always uses. "We're not compatible."

"Maybe I could set you up with someone," his friend, Gerard, offered. "I know plenty of people who'd be willing to date you."

Brendon doesn't want to be disappointed when it turns out they're not as willing when they find out his secret. "No, I'm fine," he sighed. "I'm going to stay off dating for a while."

That has been pretty surprising. Ryan, another friend, was very curious. "Why?" he asked.

Time for another lie. "I think I'm just trying too hard."

They always say love will find you. Brendon doesn't think it will, not for him at least.

Ryan stared at him for a moment, as if trying to tell if he's lying. He probably knows, Brendon figured. If anyone is close to finding out his secret, it's Ryan. Ryan's always got his eyes open.
And if there's a reason for that, Brendon wouldn't know.

Brendon continued to eat his food, distinctly aware that Ryan's still looking over at him.