Angels and Monsters

Chapter Nineteen

I've got a plan for these two. A good plan. At least, I think it's a good plan. We'll see. Thanks for sticking with me on this one. Too many plot bunnies, not enough hours in the day...I tell ya!

Chapter Nineteen

I sat in the shower, just letting the water cascade over me. I sobbed brokenly over what had happened in that alley. Guilt washed over me because due to my fear, my mate nearly lost his life. I berated myself as I cried. Rose's mind filtered up to me.

Bella, I know that you're upset, but you need to be strong for Edward. He's going to need you. I'm saying this because I love you and I love my family, but pull it together, woman!! Her determination rang clear in her mental voice. She was right, too.

I sniffled, heaving my body off the ground. I scoured my body and hopped out of the shower after I felt somewhat clean. Though, being as close as I was to James, boiling my skin off sounded really good. Gross, and somewhat overkill, but necessary. Huffing a sigh, I walked out of the bathroom and dried my hair, plaiting it down my back. My hand was very stiff, marred with an angry red scar. By tomorrow, it would be healed. My leg was not as bad since it wasn't removed, but still had some fresh teeth marks, thanks to Rose's help and some scarring, but not as bad. My skin was very pale since I was still very weak. However, I was probably stronger than Edward at the moment. It looked like he lost almost all of his venom on the pavement.

More tears.

You're a coward, Bella. COWARD!! I mentally admonished.

"Bella, I know you're a bit of a mess," Rose said as she hovered by the doorway.

"It's my fault, Rose," I cried, plucking at a string on the hoodie that I was wearing. "I was completely captured by James. I didn't expect him to be there, getting his hands dirty with the newborns. And then, my worst nightmare was standing in front of me, in the flesh."

"You faced your attacker, sweetie," she crooned, walking towards me and hugging me close. "That would have been a nightmare for any rape victim...let alone a victim who 'lost their life' to the attack."

"I shut down. I couldn't do anything. I was just..." I whimpered, forcing my memories into her head. She shuddered. "It's because of me that Edward was injured as badly as he was."

"No, it was because of James. This is not your fault, Bella," Rose said, looking into my eyes. "James was the monster who attacked Edward. James was the monster who stole your life and your innocence. James in the monster and always will be a monster. It was all James. Not you..." She stared at me. "You need to know that it's not your fault. It will never be your fault. It's his fault. So, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to freeze up again or are you going to send him to his death? You're more powerful than him, now."

"Right now, I don't know," I said, dropping my gaze from Rose's eyes. "I don't feel powerful. I feel like the weak human, terrified out of my mind."

"Wrong answer," she seethed. "Get angry, Bella. Make him pay for what he did from you and what he did to Edward. He almost killed your mate. That is punishable by death, according to Volturi law. Don't hide behind your fear. Don't let James win."

"I want to believe you and I want to make him pay, but I'm feeling a little out of sorts and lost," I snapped back. "I want to be with my husband, who was horrifically wounded, to make sure he's alright. I'm weak and I'm..."

"BELLA!" called Edward. Despite the volume of his call, his voice sounded incredibly weak. I wrenched myself out of Rose's arms and dashed down the stairs. Edward was being held up by Emmett and Jasper. His pale skin was ghostly white, stretched over his body. He looked like a walking skeleton, he was so emaciated. His eyes were black, but not as hollow and empty. He wore Emmett's shirt, which was entirely too big on him, hanging on his skinny frame and I just knew that he had a huge, red scar on his torso. Inhaling, he smelled off, too. I could detect the venom of all of my family circulating through and the possessiveness of being mate washed over me. I wanted to reclaim him as mine. After I got some blood in him; seeing him so weak made my heart ache.